25 Horrible Days
by Nimiko
Summary: Hyuuga Hinata the Heir to the Hyuuga Clan, and wife of Gaara. Is about to expiernce the 25 terrible days that awaits her, before Christmas. GaaraHinata It's rated M because of the language, and because they're slightly perverted, and suggest things.
1. December 1st

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor the the Naruto characters.**

**AN: Huh, I thought it would be fun to make a Naruto Christmas fanfic. So here it is, and please enjoy! blows kiss**

_**Chapter 1: December 1st**_

"What?!" Sakura shrieked as she cracked her knuckles while yelling at a terrified Naruto. His eyes slowly shifted to every direction imaginable as he tried not to look the pink haired kunoichi in her eyes. "I didn't mean to!" He said with a slight akward chuckle. Inching away Naruto whimpered like a puppy. Sakura walked away as she punched a hole in the wall. At first the hole was as big as her fist, but soon the whole wall caved in. "N-N-N-aruto," She tried to say calmly behind clenched teeth. "Go buy a new table!" Naruto was so excited about hearing about the Christmas Party him and Sakura was throwing; that he accidently punched the table.

"But, Sakura-Chaaaaaaaan!" Naruto stuttered.

"But what?" Sakura said with a slight glare.

"It's so cold!" The kyuubi vessel whimpered as he snuggled up to Sakura.

"Am I suppose to care?" She said with a turned head. Sakura blush was faint, but it was there.

"Fine." He said with a hpmh, and left the apartment.

While Naruto tredded in the snow he rubbed his hands together as if it'll warm his whole body up. '_Geez she's acting like I did it on purpose..._' Naruto said to himself while his eyes scanned his surroundings. He sighed as he then turned his attention towards the snow. '_Oh i know! I'll play "I Spy". Hmm usually needs two or more, but what the hell!_' He raised his head with a bright enytergetic smile. "Okay!" His eyes shifted eagerly as he said to himself. '_I spy with my little eye a twig! I spy with my little eye Hyuuga Neji looking at Ten-Ten while using his Byakugan! Hmm strange...anywho...I spy with my little eye Yamanaka Ino and Temari cuddling up to Nara Shikamaru...Huh...Does Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro even have a last name?...Weird...I spy with my little eye Sensei giggling while reading Icha Icha...What a perverted foggie...I spy with my little eye Uchiha Sasuke standing in an ally that is hidden in the shadows...Odd he should be with O--_' "What the--?" Sasuke quickly flashed before Naruto eyes, and covered his mouth as he dragged into the shadows. '_What the hell?! No one noticed! Now that's some fucked up shit, and they wonder how Orochimaru can easily take their kids...Well sons...Whatever!_'

"Dobe, you almost blew my cover..." The Uchiha stated as he un-covered Naruto's mouth.

"Sasuke what are you doing here?!" Naruto yelled in an angry tone.

Silence was the Uchiha's only response as he gave a death glare towards Naruto. "A-Are yuo finally returning?" Naruto arms dropped to his sides as he looked Sasuke in the eyes. "No." Sasuke bluntly said as he lowered his eyes. Naruto followed his eyes, to see what he was looking at. '_Dude he's checking your package out!_' Naruto put his hands infront of his "package" as he said in an digusted voice. "Sasuke what have Orochimaru done to you?! Are the rumors true?!" Sasuke's right eye slightly twitched as a vein popped. "What rumors?" He asked in an irated voice.

"A-A-Are you, Kabuto, and Orochimaru in an 'relationship'? Like i-if you are, then I'm okay with it...I seriously support gay pride, but I'm already in an relationship with Sakura...Sorry."

"You fucking dobe, I'm not gay. I'm not sure about Kabuto & O--"

"Don't you mean Orochimaru & Kabuto?"

"What's the difference?"

"Well the boy name always come before the girls."

"Hmm, I never noticed it..."

"See watch this...'Sakura & Naruto'...Sounds akward eh, but watch this 'Naruto & Sakura'."

"Let me try. 'Hinata & Sasuke'...Yup don't sound right...'Sasuke & Hinata'...Hmm a match made in heaven."

Naruto's mouth dropped to the floor as mouth started to twitch towards the right. '_Did h-he just say Sasuke & Hinata?!_' Naruto asked himself as he looked at hisex-teamate with surprise. "S-So you like Hinata-Chan?" Naruto asked. Sasuke's glare deepened a little as he replied with. "What of it?" Naruto eyes slowly rolled to the ground as he tried not to look to surprised.

"I-I thought you liked Sakura."

"Pfft."

"Huh? You didn't like her?"

"I hated her very existance."

"What?!"

"I hated her brightly colored pink hair, those green eyes that made me think of green m which are nasty, that hugmungous forehead, I hated those 'CHA' sounds she made! Like seriously what is a cha? She just made me want to use my chidori, and stab those 'CHAs' right out of her! Oh yeah I also hated her because she was a 'Barbie'."

"C'mon Sakura is the best!"

"She talks to herself..."

"Well, I learned to get over that...a little..."

"Yeah, whatever.

"So you don't like Sakura?" Naruto said once again with a confused look upon his face.

"...Dobe, weren't you listening to anything I just said?"

"Ah...I can't remeber what you said after 'Pfft'...but anywho...Why Hinata-Chan?" Sasuke looked at Naruto with a very disturbed look as he thought. '_What an idiot!_'

"She wasn't a barbie, sheep, and she wasn't apart of thr 'I love Sasuke-kun because he's an emo, and because he's an Uchiha!' fanclub."

"..."

"So you see why I li--"

"--WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! YOU HAD A FAN CLUB?!"

"Yeah."

"What the fuck! Where was my fanclub?!"

"Well you only had one fan."

"R-Really?! Who?! Who?!"

"Hinata."

"S-She liked me?"

"Dobe."

"Wow who would of thought that she'll like me!" Naruto said with a surprised look.

'_Everyone in the village knew, you dobe!_' Sasuke sighed as he rubbed the temples of his head. Naruto bit his lips as he wondered if he should tell him. Naruto wasn't really good at telling people things, but his ex-teamate had the right to know. '_I wonder will her freak out?_' He asked himself as he then began to tap his right foot un-controlably. Sasuke opened his eyes, and narrowed his attention at Naruto's franticlly patting foot. "What is it Kyuubi?" Sasuke knew something was wrong, because Naruto foot only did that when he was thinking about something important.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun it's nothing." Naruto tried not to shriek as Sasuke advanced on him.

"Sasuke-'kun'?"

"Okay!"

"Now spill it!" Sasuke hissed as he clutched his fists.

"**Hinata-Chan**got**married**to**Gaara-Kun**and**moved**to**Suna!**Their**wedding**was**so**fucking**beautiful**that**Sakura**started**planning**oursand**Sakura**gave**Hinata-Chan**5**boxes**of**lingerie**and**gave**her**tips**on**how**to**keep**your**man**satistfied!**" **Sasuke gritted his teeth as he tried to digest the information Naruto just squealed to him. A muffled "Is that so?" could faintly be heard.

'_Fuck! I screwed up!_' Naruto scolded himself as he glared at Sasuke, who performed the hand signs needed to teleport. "What are you planning?!" Naruto shouted as he clutched his fists. "Nothing that concerns you..." Was Sasuke's last words before he disappeared. Naruto was behind scheldule due to that bastard. Naruto finally made it home a hour later with frost bitten fingers, and lips.

"Finally!" Sakura sighed as she took the table, and carried it while using one hand to the dinning room. Once she sat the table down she averted her attention towards Naruto. "I was getting worried..." She said in a playful tone as she cuddled Naruto's right arm. She pouted when she realized that he didn't do or say anything. "Naruto?" She said as she poked his sensative spot. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed as he held his left side.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Why do you think something's wrong?"

"You're quiet..."

"UUUUUUUUH. I suppose I am..."

"What is it?" She said calmly while she cracked her knuckles.

"Okay!"

"Spill it!"

"I bumped into Sasuke while walking!" Sakura gasped as she heard that Sasuke came to Konoha.

"What? Huh? What happened?!"

"He told me to tell you, that he hated your brightly colored pink hair, those green eyes that made him think of green m which are nasty, that hugmungous forehead, he hated those 'CHA' sounds you make! Wants to know what is a cha? You just made him want to use his chidori, and stab the 'CHAs' right out of you, and he hated you because you're a 'Barbie'." Naruto squealed.

"That bastard is going to die! Cha!" Sakura screamed as her whole body started to shake with anger as she stormed off into the kitchen.

Naruto stood still as he smirked to himself. "Like I'm stupid enough to tell Sakura, that Sasuke's in love with Hinata, and I told him about Hinata marrying Gaara, and marrying him, and everything else. Heh." Naruto was taking off his coat when he heard loud breathing by the kitchen doorway. "HUFF...HUFF...HUFF...YOU DID WHAT?!" Sakura yelled as she charged at him. Loud screams for help could be heard coming from their apartment.

"Not again!"

"Those two are at it again?!"

"Damnit I gotta sale cabbages tomorrow I need some sleep!" People yelled as they had to listen to a poor Naruto get his ass kicked by his fiance for the umptenth time.

**To Be Continued**

**AN: I really hope you like it! I believe this story is going to be great, and I hope you read & review. **

**Hugs & Kisses **

**From**

**The Beautiful But Deadly Kunoichi Nimiko (blows a kiss, and gives a wink)**


	2. December 2nd

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor the Naruto characters.**_

_**AN: I was very pleased with the first chapter. It turned out rather good, but I had some mistakes. Geez, I need a beta-reader. Oh, and yup it's going to be 25 chapters. So stay tuned! Read & Review! Now lets get on with the story!**_

_**Chapter 2: December 2nd**_

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Mumbles and grumbles filled Gaara's office. Frustrated council men paced about in a frenzy, while once and awhile '_We should give the Uchiha what he wants_' was brought up. The atmospher was growing tenser by the second as Gaara's patience were lessening. With a irated sigh, he finally got up and said, "You guys aren't any help," He spoke in his usual tone, dry and emotionless. "...Just leave and I'll call you when I actually need you..." The Council men grumbled as they filed out of the office using the secret door; behind the Kaze's statues. As the last Council member was leaving he gave a sharp death glare at Gaara and stated, "You should just surrender, there's no need to go to war over a triangle. There's more in the vast sea..." He waited to see Gaara's response, but he was wasting his time, because Gaara was in his own world. "..." The man took the hint, and left.

Temari entered the room with her arms folded across her chest, while holding a cordless phone in her right hand. "Gaara, the Fifth Hokage is on the phone." Temari said with a scowl, her tainted blue eyes gave off such a frightening chill, colder than usual. She couldn't believe the stupidty one could have. She always thought Naruto was a complete idiot, but this took the cake. If that blond headed boy was in front of her; there was no doubt in mind that she would pumble him into the ground. He didn't just put Hinata in danger, but he also put Suna in danger. Gaara accepted the phone as he propped his feet on his desk. He closed his eyes, and let out a sigh as he opened his eyes again, and focoused them on something on his desk.

-------

"Godaime Kazekage, I am deeply sor--" Tsunade was cut off when Gaara intercepted.

"Cut to the point..."

"We're trying to locate the Uchiha's wearabouts at this very moment, but in the mean time it's probably best if you keep constance survalince of Hinata."

"Hai, I was going to do that already...Send over 5 Shinobis & 5 Kunoichis...Naruto **_must_** be apart of the shinobis being sent...and send over the freak with the incredible strength..."

"Godaime Kazekage, please call her Sakura, because if you insult her because of her strength then you're...insulting me..." Her grasp tightened around the telephone reciever, as she tried to stay calm.

"Whatever...just make sure they're apart of the group."

"Be careful..."

"That Uchiha isn't getting nowhere near Hinata..." He said as he handed Temari the phone.

-------

For once Kankuro wasn't wearing his make-up, and he actually looked serious. "So what's the gist?" He asked while he rested his elbows on his knees. Gaara's eyes slowly drifted towards his older brother. "They're sending some people over to help tighten our security..." Temari gave a smirkish kind of scowl as she clutched her fists. "I'm gonna beat the crap out of that idiot!" She growled.

"So, does Hinata knows about the Uchiha?" Kankuro asked with a look of concern for his sister-in-law.

"No, it's probably better if she not know." Temari sighed as she un-clenched her fists.

"Inform everyone not to tell her..." Gaara said as he got up.

"Hai." Temari said as she left the room.

"What you going to do about Hinata?" Kankuro asked his little brother with curiosity.

"I'm going to keep her busy..." Kankuro lips began to part, but before he could say what he was about to say Gaara intercepted. "Not like that...You sicko..." Gaara stated with a very light blush that couldn't be seen.

"Whatever you say Lil'bro! I'm going to cook Hinata some breakfast!" Kankuro said as he stood up with a smirk, and left the room.

Gaara shook his head as he headed out the room as well. While he trottered down the halls he occasionally came across servants, council men, and girls that were apart of the Pro Gaara Fan Club. Some of the girls left the club after he married Hinata, but some stayed so people would know that they support Gaara not just because he's cute.

-------

Hinata laid in bed as she let out a soft yawn. "Gaara?" She uttered; while she patted the other side of the matress.

"Huh?" She uttered in a confused tone as she turned her head, to see an empty spot. She let out a soft sigh as she sat up, and ruffled her long dark blue hair. '_Gaara promised he'll take the day off. I was really looking forward to spending the day Christmas shopping with him._' Hinata reluctanly got out of bed, and got cleaned.

After she took an half and hour shower she finally got dressed. She was upset that Gaara broke his promise, but she reminded herself that he's the Kazekage, and it's impossible to take day offs. As Hinata was about to leave the room, the balcony caught her gaze. She walked to the balcony and smiled. This was her favorite spot in the world; from there she could see over all of Suna. "I bet Konoha's snow look fantastic..." She sighed. "Yeah, it ptobably does..." A voice said from behind. "Gaara!" She chimed as she turned around, and flung herself at the red-head.

He held her close to himself as he placed a kiss on her forehead. "Hey." He said with a smirk. Hinata blushed as she smiled. "G-Gaara, I love Suna, but I also love Snow, and I--" She was cut off when Gaara captured her lips with his. Hinata was caught off guard, but she loved it when Gaara surprised her. "It's okay..." He whispered as he broke the kiss. To her dismay Gaara released her, and walked over to the banister. "Gaara, what's wrong?"

He shifted his eyes towards her and sighed. "Hinata we're going to have a Christmas Party! I'm inviting ten friends from the Leaf Village." He said with a small smile.

"W-W-WHAT?!" A voice from behind yelled.

"Huh?" The couple said as they looked over their shoulders to meet a pair of green and blue eyes.

"W-What do you mean you're throwing a christmas party?!" Naruto screamed.

"Shut--Up--Naruto!" Sakura growled as she punched his head. She gave a sweet smile to Gaara and Hinata that looked at them as if they were crazy. "Sorry, but the journy here was just so tiring." She said with a sweatdrop.

"Naruto & Sakura!" Hinata chimed as she ran over to her friends, and hugged them. "I-It's been so long!" She said with a bright smile. Naruto rubbed his head as he grined at Hinata. "Heh. I hope you didn't think you was going to get rid of us that easily!"

"Did everyone else arrive?" Gaara asked in a solemon tone.

"Yeah." Naruto & Sakura said in unision.

"Others?" asked Hinata.

"All of Rookie 9, Neji's Team, and our Senseis are here!" Naruto said with his goofy grin.

"That's more than 10..."

"Ah well Gaara-kun when people heard about S--" Sakura covered Naruto's mouth and whispered to him. "If you blow this again, I'll carve your heart out, eat it raw, and sacarfice your body to the gods!" She hissed with a glare. Gaara sighed as he thought to himself. '_Remeber this is all for Hinata_'

"Really?!" Hinata asked while she ran out of the room to greet the others, leaving the others to talk amongest themselves.

"So Naruto what else did you tell him? Huh?" asked Gaara.

"Well we talked chit-chatted...and nothing much...An I was the one that bladded..."

"Yeah...Yeah...I know...Well what's done is done I fo--"

"--But I hardly see what's the big deal, because I'm here! I fought you when that Badger was in you, I fought Sasuke...lost but lived...I fought---(An Hour Later)---An I beat him in record time!"

"Ah. You're so right Naruto," Gaara said sacasticlly. "Oh, and Temari wants to talk to you, about strategy. She says she can't do it without the help of Uzumaki Naruto." He lied as he walked off along with Sakura.

"You bet she can't!" He yelled as he ran out of Gaara's room towards Temari's. "TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMARI I'M HE--" He shrilled as he bust through her doors "..." A pair of blue and black eyes met Naruto's, words weren't exchange only bewildered expressions, and icy cold death glares. "HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF KNOCKING?!" Temari yelled as she covered herself up.

"I-I-I'm so--Hey well why didn't you lock--" Naruto looked at his feet to see that the door was locked, but when he burst through the doors he broke it. "Wow...Geez...Have fun Shikamaru..." Naruto eeped as he ran out.

"You're so dead Naruto!" She yelled.

-------

"Huh? What was that?" Ino asked.

"Ah, seems like Naruto bumped into Temari...Poor little guy." Kankuro sighed.

"Wasn't Shika--" Kiba stopped as him and Choji looked at each other and laughed.

Naruto ran down the hallway, and leapt over the banister; landing infront of everyone. "Hey Sakura I have to tell you something!" He chimed as he whispered in Sakura's ear. "_I just saw the most coolest position -whisp whisp whisp- and you have to -wisp wisp wisp- then I -wisp wisp wisp-!_"

"What?!...No!"

"C'mon why not?" Naruto asked with puppy dog eyes.

"Hey Akamaru and I find that offensive!"

"What the doggy style or the puppy eyes?" Ino asked trying to hold in her laughter.

"Both!"

"Bark!" Akamaru agreed with him.

"How is it offensive to you? You're not a dog." Shino stated as he pushed his glasses up.

"Pfft, my clan consider ourselves to be dogs!"

"So your mom really is a bitch." Naruto said.

"Damn right she--Hey!" Soon everyon was engulfed in personal buisness, and rather or not Kiba's mom was a bitch, and as the night went on they watched over Hinata, and caught up on good times.

-------

_**To Be Continued**_

_**AN: I really hope you like it! Please read & review. **_

_**Hugs & Kisses **_

_**From**_

_**The Beautiful But Deadly Kunoichi Nimiko (blows a kiss, and gives a wink)**_


	3. December 3rd

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto characters.**

**AN: Wow, I sorta thought that December 2nd was kinda dullish, but I'm pleased to see that you guys liked it. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Chapter 3: Decmeber 3rd**

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Temari I don't think this's a great idea. Isn't this outfit a bit to _r-risque_?" Hinata said with a slight stutter. Exactly at 5AM Temari wisked a groggily Hinata out of bed to help her prepare for the Christmas Party. That's taking place promptly at 7PM.

"No." The blonde stated.

"But--"

"But what?"

"Why this one?" Hinata asked with a slight whine.

"The other outfits didn't fit nicely around your smooth curves. You needed an outfit that would make Gaara have the hotts for you." Temari stated with a nod.

"Ah yeah...I highly doubt that Gaara would g--"

"He's a guy...he will. Well anywho since we have the song, and the outfit...we now need a da--Nah that's to much work we'll have you sit on the piano while Gaara plays it...Okay we have everything set the decorations...and yup everything else has been taken care o--"

"Why do we have to have the Christmas Party so early?" Hinata asked. The blonde blue eyes kunoichi really wasn't expecting Hiinata to ask such a question. It really threw her off guard, but luckily Temari was a smart cookie. She could lie herself out of anything. "Well Gaara really didn't want me to say anything, but--"

"No! If Gaara don't want you to say a word then don't! I'm sorry for pestering you." Hinata quickly said. '_Geez, luckily she's so modest. awe, she's so adorable!_' Temari thought to herself.

"Lets go get some sleep" Temari said as she pulled Hinata close to her, and walked out the ballroom.

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"So Lord Orochimaru what would you like for Christmas?" Kabuto asked his boss while he decorated a tree.

"Oh! Oh! I want an Easy Bake Oven, a Bratz doll, and a new boy toy!" He squealed in a girlish voice.

"...I'm leaving..." Sasuke said as he got up.

"Uh no! Where?!" Orochimaru asked him.

"I have to go pick up my present to myself."

"Oh really! What is it?"

"A girl..."

"WHAT?! NO! NO! NO! NO GIRLS ALLOWED! NO GIRLS ALLOWED! KABUTO TELL HIM!"

"Sorry Sasuke, but there's no girls allowed."

"If I don't get what I want I'll poison your drinking water, slaughter your cattle, and rape your women."

"NO ANYTHING, BUT THAT! GO GET THE GIRL JUST DON'T DO THAT!" Orochimaru squealed as he buried his face in his pillow. Sasuke smirked as he thought to himself. '_What a fucking idiot..._' Half an hour later while Orochimaru was decorating the tree with Kabuto he gasped. "We have no women!"

'_He's just now noticing...Geez..._' Kabuto thought to himself with a slight chuckle.

"Hinata I shall come, and wisk you away." Sasuke said to himself as he trotted down the snow covered road.

-------

"Achoo!" Hinata sneezed.

"Are you catching a cold?" Gaara asked giving her another piece of tissue.

"No. I feel healthy...Hmm...Ah...Gaara." Hinata said as she looked down at the bedsheets.

"Yeah?"

"I'm happy you've taken the whole week off."

"Yeah me too." He said as he combed his finger through her hair.

"It's about time for me to get up..." She yawned lightly.

"Uh..."

"What?"

"Well all the guys wanted to do something for the girls today. So you stay in bed!"

"Huh? Wah?"

"Breakfast in bed...Spa treatments...and other things...just let us take care of it." He said with a smile.

"Okay." She smiled back.

-------

"What?!" The other boys screamed in unision.

"Like hell I'm do--" Kiba was cut off by Gaara.

"I Sabaku no Gaara...The Kazekage of Suna...The Yondaime Kazekage orders you to shut the fuck up, and do as you're told!" All the boys jumped back a little, and cleared their throats. "Alright Kazekage-sama..." They said as they started preparing breakfast.

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"Oh, wow! I'm going to enjoy this! You guys just don't know how tough it is being on a team with a guy that acts like he's the center of attention, and a guy that acts like your sensei! I'm going to enjoy this to the fullest!" Tenten chimed.

"Same here! I think I'm gonna ask Shikamaru to massage my feet after he massages Temari's. An as for Choji he'll get to feed me grapes if he's lucky." Ino said with a grin.

"Shikamaru will massage my feet, then he'll dress-up like Hidie, and do a dialog." Temari chuckled.

"Naruto's going to feed me my food." Sakura said with a slight yawn.

"Gai & Kakashi will have to wash my clothes, rub my feet, do a little dance while wearing tutus, and cook me lunch and dinner while wearing maids outfits...with crowns!" When Kurenai said that all the girls couldn't help but to laugh.

"What are you going to make Gaara do for you Hinata?" Ino asked with a smirk.

"Ah...Ah...I really don't know..." She lied. '_I could ask for him to take a shower with me--Ah! I'm being so pervie!_' Hinata thought to herself with a loud blush.

"Oh she's thinking something naughty." Sakura said with a wink.

"N--" Hinata was cut off when loud screams could be heard from the kitchen.

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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! My hair! My hair! It's on fire!" Neji paniced as Lee ran over, and poured water on him.

"YOSH! NO FIRE STANDS A CHANCE WITH THE LEAFES HANDSOME GREEN DEVIL HERE!" Lee said as he did his nice guy pose.

"You kids can't do anything right." Kakashi said as he flipped over his pancakes.

"Yeah, Kakashi is right. You kids except for you Lee can't do nothing right." Gai said with a smirk. "Look how light, and fluffy Kakashi's and I pancakes are. Isn't this the best way to do it, Kakashi?"

"Huh? Did you say something?" Kakashi turned his head to look at Gai with his dullish right eye.

'_GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! KAKASHI YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL, BUT YOU'RE NOT!_' Gai thought to himself.

"I'm done..." Gaara stated dullishly as he put strawberry pancakes, bacon, toast, sunny side up eggs, and freshly squeezed organe juice on a tray. He then decorated the tray as he placed a short vase that help a freshly cut rose, her knife sat on the right side of the plate as the fork sat on it's opposit, and to top it all off he made two napkins into cranes. Gaara looked over his shoulder to see everyone stareing at him. "What?..."

Everyone eeped as they rushed to their sides of the kitchen and whistled. Gaara sighed at them, and rubbed his head. "What do you need me to do?" Everyone's face lit up as they rushed to Gaara, and all started talking at once.

-------

"Ah. Do you think everythings okay. Maybe I should checkup on Gaara." Hinata said.

"No need." A voice came from the door.

"G-Gaara!" Hinata gasped as she saw his tray.

"Wow!" The other girls chimed as their guys brought in their trays, which really didn't stand a chance to Gaara's, but was still pretty.

Once the trays were set the boys started to head out of the room. Hinata's eyes lowered as she looked at her tray then looked at Gaara. "A-Ah Gaara?" She lightly said. He turned his head, and let out an argh sound. "What?..." Gaara said as he sent chills down her spine. "A-Ah nothing?" She quickly said. He gave a heavy sigh as he left the room.

"Geez someones PMSing." Tenten and Sakura said with a hmph.

"N-No I think it's something else..." Hinata said as she got up, and walked out of the room. She could hear Gaara, Kankuro, Naruto, Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, Choji, Lee, and Neji talking. She let out a soft eh sound as she listened in on the conversation.

-------

"What was that all about?" Naruto asked with his outdoorish voice.

"It's just that she's too...what's the word I'm looking for..." Gaara said.

"Mousy." Kankuro said. '_But that's what makes her so adorable!_'

"Gloomy." Naruto said.

"Weak." Neji said.

"Unapporchable." Kiba said. '_Sigh. I missed my chance awhile ago, because of that Naruto, but at least she's happy._'

"Quiet." Shikamaru said.

"Thin?" Choji said.

"Yeah, whatever I'm out." Shino said as he headed towards his room.

"What?! No you can't leave we're trying to help Gaara!" Lee said as he tried to drag Shino back, but end up being dragged away by him.

"Well kind of all of these above, and I kind of haven't been able to get ya know...up..." He said as he glanced to the side.

"...(the wind howls by as a rolls tumbleweed)..."

"So as of now you're not attracted to Hinata?" Kiba said as he was not trying to sound to happy, because right now he was doing the jig dance in his head.

"Yeah..."

"Uh..." Everyone else said in unision as a few did coughs.

-------

'_Gaara's not attracted to me? When was this? Uh, oh my Kami!_' She thought to herself on the verge of tears. She walked back to where the room was, and inhaled a large mass of air as she exhaled, and slapped herself to her senses. '_So I'm mousy, gloomy, week, unapporchable...quiet...thin...well who cares about thin...and unattractive...huh?! I'll show them bastards! I'll show them all!_' She thought to herself as she cracked her knuckles. She opened the door, and smiled at her friends.

"Temari, I can't wait to start the party it'll be so great!" She said with a smile.

"Great! Neither can I!"

-------

**AN: I really hope you enjoyed chapter 3, I have big plans for the next chapter, and thank you to everyone thats been reviewing. I really apperciate it.**

**Hugs & Kisses **

**From**

**The Beautiful But Deadly Kunoichi Nimiko (blows a kiss, and gives a wink)**


	4. December 4th

**Disclaimer: I don't own own the Naruto, nor the Naruto characters.**

**AN: (does a cheesy smile) Geez, I didn't suspect that so many people would love 25 Days. I'm really happy that you're all enjoying it! Oh, don't worry Nina-Chan Hinata won't change. Who would want to change something so adorable! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well! **

**Chapter 4: December 4th**

It was 6PM, and the Christmas celebration was only an hour away. Hinata stood infront of a long mirror as she looked at her outfit. '_Oh Kami what have I done?!_' She wore a sexy Santa outfit; the sleeves were long and cuffed in fuzzy white stuff. The top was midriff and laced up the front. The collar dipped down in the middle; showing some major clevage. Her soft paleish stomach was exposed. Her pleated skirt was help up by a black belt, her pantyhouse or shall I say fishnets showed her silky legs. She wore this thing around her neck even though she didn't know what it was, but it felt like it was choking her. Her black boots came up to her knees, and made clanking sounds when she walked; which she found to be irritating. The only thing she didn't mind was the Santa hat, because if she felt more ashamed of herself later on during the party she could always pull it over her head. '_This just isn't me!_' A tear rolled down her left cheek as she wiped it away with the backside of her hand.

"Hinata if you don't like the outfit, then go find a red dress in your closet." A voice said from the door way.

"Hanabi!" She didn't even have to turn around to figure out who it was.

"Yo." Hanabi said as she placed her hands on the back of her head.

"Shouldn't you be--"

"Yeah, but I told dad that I wanted to spend Christmas in Suna."

"You only had to ask him once?"

"Nah, I kept on nagging him until he caved in." Hanabi said as she ran towards her sister and hugged her. "I've missed you..."

"I've missed you too." Hinata said with a smile.

"You know that outfit really isn't you." Hanabi took a couple of steps back as she examined her sister closely. "Hmm, you're more of an elgant person, that kind of outfit is best fit for Hyuuga Hajime." Hinata gasped as she covered her own mouth.

"Hanabi that's our cousin!"

"But you must admit she was like Konoha's bicycle."

"What do you mean by bicycle?"

"She was the village bicycle, everyone got a turn." Hinata and Hanabi looked at each other for awhile before they started laughing uncontrollably. "C'mon that dress isn't going to find itself." Hanabi said as she waved at Hinata to come on.

Hinata and Hanabi walked towards the main bedchamber as they talked about the Hyuuga, and Konoha news. Once they arrived at their destination Hanabi rumaged through all of Hinata's dresses. It seemed like she was searching for hours until she finally found the right dress for Hinata. "This one! Hurry go put it on!" Hanabi chimed as she pushed Hinata towards her and Gaara's private bathroom. Hanabi sat on her sister and brother-in-law's bed as she waited silently. Her eyes soon widen when she noticed their giant Plasma tv. "Oh my fuckcakes!" She gasped as she patted the bed for the remote. Her hands then hit a lump underneathe the covers; her mouth curved into a smile as she pulled the covers back. "U-Uh..." A pair of fuzzy purple handcuffs sat infront of her as she slightly gluped. '' Hanabi pulled the covers back on top of them as she climbed off the bed.

"Okay I-I got it on." Hinata said from the bathroom.

"Well, c'mon!" Hanabi said as she pushed back the memory of the handcuffs.

Hinata walked out of the bathroom wearing a silk red dress. There was no sleeves, but just thickish spagettie straps. The collar was low cut, but it didn't show much. It loosely clung to her torso. The lower half of the dress was the most elegant part. The bottomt of the dress sparkled like tiny diamonds being hit by a ray of sunshine, and the back of her dress slightly dragged. The hims were ruffled slightly, and as she walked she wore a confident smile. "I-I really like this Hanabi...Tha--"

"No need."

"Y-Yeah if it we--"

"I'm your sister, and sisters help each others out."

"You're right, but still thank you."

"You're welcome Hina." Hanabi said with a cheesy grin.

"Uh! W-W-What time is it?!" Hinata asked frantically. She actually forgot about why she was looking for a christmas dress.

"6:55PM."

"...Oh no!" Hinata eeped as she grabbed Hanabi's hand, and rushed out the room.

-------

"W-W-Where's Hinata?!" Sakura asked while she looked under table skirts.

"Sakura why the hell would she be under there?!" Ino screamed in annoyance.

"CHA! Shut up Ino!"

"What is with you and those damn chas'? It's not cute! I hope you didn't think it was, because it's not! So shut the fuck up!" Neji screamed.

"What the hell did you just say?!" Sakura screamed. He smiply scowled as he crossed his arms across his chest. "Listen Barbie. When Neji tells someone to do something , he expects them to follow orders, and what? Fucking do it bitch! Now shut---the---fuck---up!"

Temari walked in with Kankuro as they were writing something down on pads. The kunoichi glanced up to find Sakura and Neji about to rip each others heads off. "Do it look like we have time for childish arguements?" She asked with a sigh. Shikamaru flopped down on a chair as he yawned.

Temari sighed as she cleared her throat. "Okay remeber, you're suppose to act like everyone cancled."

"What should we use as an excuse?" Ino asked.

"Oh, say that they couldn't eat their babies so they called a witch doctor!" Naruto said in a confident voice.

"I'm not even going to make a comment Naruto...Um...How about they don't know the directions." Sakura stated.

"Nah, say that they ate to much, and can't make it." Choji said.

"Why not just say the party was to last minute and they already made plans." Kakashi said as he read his Icha Icha Paradise.

"That'll work." Temari said.

Gaara walked into the room wearing his tuxedo, and sat by the piano. "Where's Hinata?" He noticed when he asked everyone except Temari & Kankuro froze. Their eyes slowly rolled up towards the ceiling as a few made some coughing noises.

Hanabi soon jogged into the room with a warm smile. "Yo." She exclaimed as she came to a stop infront of everyone. "Long time no see Kitty-kun." Hanabi said as she stretched. Everyone mouthed Kitty-kun as they looked around to see who she was talking too.

"Hey..." Neji spoke as he placed his hands in his tuxedo pockets, and looked away. Everyone laughed inwardly as they kept on looking at a somewhat pissed Neji.

"Oh, Hinata's waiting for her cue." Hanabi said as she sat down.

"Oh, okay." Temari said as she took out a walkie-talkie as she spoke into it. "Hit it." At once all the lights in the ballroom went off. '_Okay, Hina-chan it's all up to you now!_' Temari thought to herself.

-------

Once the lights went off Hinata activated her Byakugan so she'll be able to make her way towards the piano. After ten seconds the lights would come back on so she took a big gulp as she made her way, she sat down on the piano; and de-activated her byakugan. As soon she de-activated her byakugan the lights came on. A few gasps could be heard, and she think she heard someone say; _Must remeber Hinata's married_.

"Hello, and welcome to our first Christmas Party!" Hinata was surprised she didn't stuttered, and that she could be so loud.

"Before we begin I'll like to sing a christmas song." She stated as she gave Gaara the signal. He looked down at the paper, and then took a quick glance at Hinata. She noticed him occasionally doing it, but remained focoused. Gaara started playing Santa Baby. He never actually heard the song before, but Temari insisted on him playing the song. He kind of thought it was strange that the words on the music sheet were scractched off, but he didn't care.

"Baboom! Baboom! Baboom! Baboom!" Hinata crossed her right leg over her left as she smiled.

"Santa Baby, just slip a sable under the tree; for me. Been an awful good girl. Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight." She held her right hand up to her mouth as she propped her index finger up; to rest on her lips, as she wore an innocent look.

"Santa baby, a '54 convertible too; light blue. I'll wait up for you, dear. Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight." She slid off the piano, and lightly leaned against it.

"Think of all the fun I've missed! Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed. Next year I could be just as good, if you'll check off my Christmas list." She poked out her lips, and pouted a little.

"Santa Baby, I want a yacht and really thats not alot. Been an angel all year. Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight." Her hand grazed the surface of the piano as she smiled sweetly at everyone.

"Santa honey, one little thing I really need...the deed. To a platinum mine. Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight." She slowly walked to the piano's bench, and sat by Gaara.

"Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex, and checks. Sign your 'x' on the line. Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight." Gaara tensed up as he focoused on the piano, but his eyes kept on wandering towards Hinata, and observing her.

"Come and _trim_ my Christmas tree...with some decorations bought at Tif-fa-ny. I really do believe in you...Lets see if you believe in me!" Hinata leaned her head against Gaara's shoulder as she accidentally emphasised the word trim. Gaara bit the lower half of his lip, as he tried to think about cute adorable stuff.

'_Okay think of something cute! Think of something cute!...Um bunnies!...Puppies! Sunny places...Hinata...Hyuuga Hinata...Damnit it isn't working!_' Gaara thought to himself as he sighed inwardly.

"Santa Baby, forgot to mention one little thing; a ring. I don't mean on the phone . Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight...Hurry down the chimney tonight...Hurry...tonight." As she finished the song she smiled, and tucked her hair behind her ears. When she was getting up, she lost her balance, and tipped backwards.

There was a long silence, because Hinata felt something, and Gaara knew she felt it. '_Oh my god Mari-chan was right!_' He turned his gaze towards the left as he muttered. "Hn, can you get of it..." She sat up as she looked away. "S-Sorry." She mumbbled to him. Gaara bowed his head as he muttered. "It's my fault."

"Hey Hinata what's wrong?" Kiba asked with a frown. Hinata and Gaara turn towards Kiba, and opened their mouths to say something, but before they could speak the lights flickered off. "Hnnnnnnnn." Hinata groaned as she clasped her hands together. She was afraid of the dark, even though she had the byakugan. It probably started when she was 10. Her father was able to master the Byakugan by age eight, and Neji was able to master it by age 5. So her father decided to force the Byakugan to activate. For 9 hours a day she was sent into the Hyuuga main branch basement, and locked down there; with the lights off. By age 12 she was finally able to activate the Byakugan, but not as well as the rest of her clan.

"Neji go find some candles. Temari follow him." Gaara ordered. Temari grabbed a hand full of Neji's hair, and followed him. "Enjoy this while it last Temari." Neji grumbled.

-------

"This is just way to easy." Sasuke sighed. He was in the celler, sabotaging the lights. "Tsk. Tsk. Tsk." A voice said from behind Sasuke. "Sensei we meet again." Sasuke said with a smirk.

"Yeah, but it won't last for long, because I have to kill you. It's a pity." Kakashi said with a smile.

"Pfft, I've come prepared this time."

"Bring it emo!" Kakashi said as he took his stance.

Sasuke sighed as he pulled out the new installment of the Icha Icha collection. "This book was great...I would let you borrow it, but nah I just don't wanna." He stated as he threw the book into the room behind him. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" Kakashi screamed as he jumped in slow-motion into the room, and caught the book before it hit the floor.

Once Kakashi was in the room; Sasuke did the hand signs to make a barriar. "Geez, and you're one of the elite?" Sasuke hmphed as he left. Kakashi dullishly looked at him as he opened the book. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, these pages are blank!" Kakashi said as he mentally kicked himself.

"One down and---um some more to go I don't feel like counting at this point in time..."

-------

Once Neji and Temari had came back from gathering the candles, everyone headed towards their rooms. Hinata sat on her bed as she bit her lips. Gaara sat on the other side as he sighed. They cast glances once and awhile, and made ligh hn sounds.

"Gaara?" Hinata said his name softly.

"Yeah?" He answered with his dullish voice.

"Do you think I'm unattractive?" She asked trying not to sound so down.

"..." He looked towards the door without saying a word.

"Ah. I see."

"You're beautiful, but sometimes...It's hard for me to believe that you love me...You witnessed and heard about some of the things I've done in the past. Why me, out of all those people."

"Yes I've heard, but it doesn't matter to me. Everyone deservs a second chance."

"I tried to over throw Konoha."

"Yeeeeeah, but you've changed. That's all that matters."

"..." He didn't know what else to say, but he decided to let his actions speak for themselves. Gaara grabbed Hinata, and brung her close to himself.

"Was that all that was bothering you?"

"Yeah." He lied. Hinata smiled as she pushed Gaara on his back, and snuggled his arm.

-------

Naruto sat up straight as his eyes grew big. "Oh my god they have ghost!" He squealed as he clung to Sakura's arm. "Naruto you're an idiot," Kiba yawned as he narrowed his eyes at the candle, but soon groans could be heard. "Oh my god he's right!" Kiba and Naruto rolled across the floor as they said in unision. "Who you gonna call, Ninjabusters!"

"Idiots..." Shino muttered as he decided to talk to his bugs.

"What the hell you can talk to them?" Naruto chimed.

"Yeah."

"What do they tell you to do?" Kiba asked his childhood friend.

"They sometimes tell me to set things on fire, but sometimes they tell me to kill."

"..." Everyone backed away. It was dead silent, but the silence was broke when they heard the noise again. "Hurry we should get Gaara! We need to get down to the bottom of this." Kiba & Naruto ran towards Gaara's room, and the others only came because Shino just scared the shit out of them.

"Gaara! Gaara! There's these weird noises!" Kiba and Naruto yelled as they burst through Gaara's bedchamber doors. Kiba's mouth started to twitch, as Naruto said to himself. '_Wow! Hinata must be like a D or something!_' Everyone who was following them soon saw what Kiba and Naruto saw.

"What?! No! Not my Hinata-chan! What he's doing to my Hinata-chan?!" Neji eeped in terror.

Hinata eeped as she pushed Gaara off of her, and tightened the covers around herself. Gaara hit the other side of the bed's floor.

'_Geez, someone didn't take sex ed..._' Tenten commented to herself. Kiba turned and ran back to his room as he wept. It was like someone put a strawberry cheese-cake infront of him, then ate it.

"Woohoo! Get a room!" Sakura cheered only to be hit in the head.

"They are in their room!" Tenten stated as she walked off. '_They seriously need better locks._'

"Sorry..." Sakura said as she dragged a weeping Neji, and a gawking Naruto away with the others.

Everything happened so fast and they really couldn't get words in. "Don't worry I'm okay." Gaara said sarcastically. "But I didn't even ask if you were okay." Hinata stated.

-------

"Wow that would of been prefect if I had some popcorn, and a drink." Naruto sighed.

"Shut up! It's all your fault!" Sakura yelled.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Neji cried on Tenten's shoulder as she tried to comfort him. "It's okay. It's okay. It's er...normal...It's okay if you saw your cousin having...ah...sex..." She lied. Sasuke was on the ceiling, and he scowled when he heard they just saw Hinata doing the fobidden dance. '_I was gonna leave them alone, but they saw something that I haven't saw yet!_' Sasuke formed the knock-out-jutsu. Everyone soon hit the ground except for one who yelled. "Kai!" Sakura ran out the room, and faced the Uchiha.

"You asshole!" She yelled as she sent chakara to her fists.

"Why so mad?" Sasuke asked.

"What do you think you idiot?"

"Huh?"

"You're after Hinata, and you said stuff about me!"

"Last time I spoke to Naruto I said I was looking for you. I've always loved you and Hinata, but you more than Hinata." Sakura got out of her stance as she looked him in the eyes.

"I confessed my love for you to Naruto, but--" He looked away, and did fake tears, and held on to the banister.

"Oh my kami! I'm so sorry!" She cried as she clutched the banister next to him, soon Sasuke sent his chidori through the rail shocking her.

"Pfft, please you wished I loved you." Sasuke said as he did the knock out jutsu again, while Sakura was unable to say kai or do the sign.

He groaned as he looked at the clock in Naruto's room. "I don't have much time, and I can't take the risk of people finding out I'm here." He looked around, and looked out the window to find a maze. "That shall be a good spot...I'll have to wait one more day to get my Hinata." He said while he lept from the window.

**AN: I think this chapter was kinda dull...I don't know. Blah...(sighs)...Please read and review. Well anywho...I really hope you like it, and I hope you read & review. **

**Hugs & Kisses **

**From**

**The Beautiful But Deadly Kunoichi Nimiko (blows a kiss, and gives a wink)**


	5. December 5th

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor the Naruto characters.**

**AN: At first I wasn't going to update any of my fanfics today, but as I was getting some chips & pop. The funniest idea for a scene popped into my head, and I couldn't stop laughing. So I decided to update before I forgot the scene. It happens to me sometimes, but then after I updated I remeber the scene, and I'm all like "Fuck!" (sighs) I hate when that happens. Oh, well lets get on with the fanfic!**

_**Chapter 5: December 5th**_

The sunlight shown through the windows, and landed on the floor. It glistened like it was gold, and...the gold was spreading, and spreading. "Huh...W-What's this?" A groggy Ten-Ten said. She padded the floor, until her hand hit a puddle. "W-hat the hell is this?" Ten-Ten asked herself. Rock Lee examined her hand as he yawned.

"Taste it, to see what it is." He said while he stretched.

"Wah? No! You taste it then!"

"Why, the hell would I lick your hand!"

"Why would you lick it?" Kiba asked while he sat up. "You should smell it."

"..." The two friends looked at Kiba.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll do it." He got up, and bent down to smell Ten-Ten's hand. He screamed as he held his nose. "That's piss, and it burned my nostrils! DAMNIT!" Ten-Ten eyes trembled as she stood up, and wiped the fluid on the curtains.

"What's wrong?" Kurenai asked.

"Someone pissed all over the floor!" Kiba yelled while he held his nose. Neji patted himself down, and sighed with relief. "It's not me." Everyone did the same as they all sighed. Their eyes then fell upon Naruto. The blonde's eyes flickered open as he sat up. "Huh? Wah?" He asked in a sleepy tone. Sakura then walked in from the hall way as she scratched her butt.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"Your husband pissed all over the place!" Choji yelled.

"Damnit not again..." Naruto whined while he looked at Sakura with puppy dog eyes.

"Stop mocking us, piss boy!" Kiba shouted making everyone cringe.

"Hey, keep it down," Shikamaru said as he leaned against the door frame. "You woke Temari, Ino, and me up."

"Yeah, we were having such a great time..." Temari yawn.

"Yeah, it was nothing but bliss." Ino yawned as she leaned against Temari.

"Naruto had an accident." Ten-Ten sighed as she walked to the bathroom to wash her hands, and get cleaned.

"Gaara isn't going to be happy," Temari yawned again. "This was his favorite guess room."

"Sorry, Temari I forgot to pack his rubber pajamas..." Sakura sighed.

"Why is this his favorite room?" Shino asked.

"Because...Um...How can I say this...Ah! This is the room were he popped Hinata's cherry!" She said with a bright smile.

"Nice way of explaining it Temari!" Ino laughed.

"NO NOT MY HINATA-CHAN!" Neji cried as he ran out the room.

"...What the?" Temari and Shikamaru said.

"Neji has the hotts for Hinata." Ino said as she stretched.

"Eww." They said in unision.

"Haven't you guys heard of Hyuugacest?" Sakura asked.

"No I never heard of it, and I don't wanna." They said.

"I'll tell someone to clean it up..." Shikamaru sighed as he walked off.

"Ino where were you?" Ten-Ten asked.

Temari & Ino smirked as they snuggled up together. "Where do you think, here we come Shikamaru." They then walked off to follow Shikamaru. Everyone's mouths dropped to the floor as they watched the two blonde blue eyed kunoichies run after Shikamaru.

"Wow, Shikamaru love blonde blue eyed girls." After Kiba finished that statement Gaara walked in with a maid, and watched her clean the mess up. After she cleaned it she left the room while mumbling. 'I just love cleaning up other people's piss...I should of listened to my mother, and finished Ninja Academy...Fuck...'

"Thanks for pissing on my floor Naruto." Gaara sighed. 'Just remeber this is all for Hinata.'

"Sorry Gaara, but well since we're all up lets get cleaned!" Naruto chimed.

"For some odd reason I feel so alive!" Kiba chimed in with Naruto.

-------

Hinata walked out the bathroom while she brushed her hair. 'I sure wish it would snow...' She sighed to herself as she tied her hair into a pony-tail. "But it's sure nice to be able to walk outside, and not be smothered in all those clothes." Hinata walked out the room, and went to the kitchen to see if anyone was there. 'Hmm, they're probably still asleep...' She groaned to herself wondering what could she do. "Ah, I guess I can go for a walk in the maze...Yeah, I need to my last record." Hinata exited the kitchen, and went outside, so she could walk around in the maze.

-------

After everyone was finished getting cleaned, they started talking about what could they do today. "Oh lets go--" Ten-Ten was cut off by Shino.

"--Sasuke was here...Last night..." Shino said.

"WHAT?! HOW DO YOU KNOW?!" Everyone yelled.

"My bugs...Saw everything..."

"Oh that's right...I forgot to tell you Gaara, damn I knew I forgot about something." Sakura said.

"..." Everyone stared at Shino and Sakura, and lightly bit their tongues.

"Shi-Shino...When were you planning on telling me?" Gaara asked while he tried to keep his cool.

"Everyone seemed so preoccupied...I didn't know if it was a good time..."

"C'mon lets go sco--Where's Kakashi-Sensei at?" Naruto asked.

"Last time I talked to him, he said he was going to the basement for something..." Gai said.

"He probably got into the booze..." Kurenai sighed.

"I'll go make sure Hinata's still in the room..." Gaara said as he tried to surpress his anger.

-------

Hinata took a left, a right, then another right, then a left as she traveled through the maze. "Almost there!" She smiled at her best time. "Kankuro is going to be so jealous." She snickered to herself.

"Hinata," She turned to see who it was. "The others are waiting for you in the kitchen." Gaara said as he walked up to her, and snuggled her from behind. Hinata blushed, and tried to move away. For some odd reason it didn't feel right.

"G-Gaara, can you please stop?"

"Why?" He asked.

"B-Because I-I don't f-e-el comforta-b-ble." She squeaked.

"Hmm, but you should. We do this all the time, ne?"

"Y-Yes, but isn't everyone waiting for us?" She tried to pry his arms away from her.

"...Yes, they're waiting for us at Otogakure..." He said as he used his Chidori Nagashi jutsu to temporaly paralize her.

"Gah!-" Hinata let out a grunt like sound as her body went limp, she tired to move, she tried to talk, but her body wouldn't respond.

"Hinata," She quickly recognized the voice, and tears started to seep from her eyes. "Hinata, my precious hime...Lets go home." He said in a chuckle. With that being said they disappeared in a puff of smoke.

-------

"NO! OH MY GOD! NO NOT JEZEBEL! YOU FUCKIN' BASTARD!" Everyone stopped running as they looked at Shino who was crying.

"What's wrong?!" Temari asked.

"I-I planted a bug on Hinata to monitor her whereabouts, and Sasuke just showed up, and killed my bug! Nicholas, is going to be devestated they were to be married in my ear! Now sh-sh-she's DEAD!"

"Wait Sasuke has Hinata?!" She yelled.

"Yeah, but what about Jezebel?" Shino sniffled.

"Fuck the bug we have to round everyone up, and go after him! C'mon we have to find Kakashi!" Naruto yelled. Two hours later, and they still haven't found Kakashi.

"Where the hell could he be?!" Naruto yelled as he growled.

"We checked every part of the mansion." Ten-Ten sighed.

"Well didn't Gai say something about the basement." asked Ino.

"Yeah, I told Naruto to look down there." Gai said. "You didn't see anything?"

"..."

"You didn't go did you?" Sakura said with a scowl.

"No way man, it's fucking creepy down there, and I kept hearing these moaning & groaning sounds!" Everyone stayed silent as they mentally killed Naruto inside their heads.

"C'mon lets go get him." Gaara said between clenched teeth.

-------

Sasuke walked down the roads as he held Hinata in his arms bridal style. "Wow, this is going to be the best christmas ever!" Sasuke exclaimed. Hinata was trying to say something, but her words only came out as grumbles, grs, and other weird sounds. "Huds askdis mmmfhsmmmaskickmmassmdj." Sasuke looked down at Hinata, and smiled. "Awe, I wuv you too my widdle cuddle bunny!" If Hinata could talk she would of said every colorful word in the dictionary.

-------

"Here's where the noises was coming from!" Naruto pointed towards the door. Sakura pushed everyone out the way, and with one hit the door flew off its hinges, and crashed through the wall. "Geez, um thanks Sakura." Naruto said with an awkward smile. Everyone peeked into the room to find Kakashi lying on the floor as he groaned from starvation. He turned his head to the left to look at them. "Foood...Foood..."

"We don't have time to eat Kakashi-Sensei!" Naruto yelled.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Kakashi asked.

"We don't ha--"

"The hell we do," He yelled. "I'VE BEEN LOCKED DOWN HERE THE WHOLE NIGHT! WITHOUT FOOD! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?! I'VE BEEN STARVING! NOW IF IT WERE THE FREAK WITH THE STRENGTH, THE VILLAGE IDIOT, OR EVEN BUG BOY OVER THERE, YOU GUYS WOULD OF CAME LOOKING RIGHT AWAY, BUT WHAT ABOUT KAKASHI?" Kakashi then starts to mimic them.

"Hey, where's Sakura? Sakura isn't here. LETS GO LOOK FOR SAKURA!" He said in Naruto's voice.

"Hey, where's Naruto? Naruto isn't here. LETS GO LOOK FOR NARUTO!" He said in Sakura's voice.

"Hey, where's Ino? Ino isn't here. LETS GO LOOK FOR INO!" He said in Choji's voice.

"Hey, where's Kureni-Sensei? Kurenai-Sensei isn't here. LETS GO LOOK FOR KURENAI-SENSEI!" He said in Kiba's voice. Kakashi went down the list until he said everyone's name, except for Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro, of course.

"Oh, sorry we thought it was 10AM, we do have time to eat!" Everyone said except Gaara who looked extremely pissed. 'Gaara remeber this is for your Hinata...Your wife...Your love for a lifetime...' Gaara said as he sat, and watch Kakashi stuff his face.

-------

**AN: The part I wanted to put isn't in this chapter, it'll have to be in the next chapter...(sighs)...Please read and review. Well anywho...I really hope you like it, and I hope you read & review. **

**Hugs & Kisses **

**From**

**The Beautiful But Deadly Kunoichi Nimiko (blows a kiss, and gives a wink)**


	6. December 6th

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor the Naruto characters.**

**AN: Sorry for the long update. (sets a box of weapons infront of herself) Choose your method of how you wish to kill me for making you wait so long. Anywho, here's the next chapter.**

**Chapter 6: December 6th**

-------

Gaara sighed as he sat at the kitchen counter. '_Remeber you're only doing this for Hinata...Hinata...Hinata..._' He kept on telling himself as he clutched his hair. "They're driving me crazy..." He whispered under his breath. Gaara scaned the kitchen sending death glares at everyone.

"When I get him I'm gonna mess him up so bad his grandchildren gonna look ugly!" Sakura yelled.

"I'm gonna mess him up so bad he won't even look like a Seme anymore!" Ino chimed in.

"I'm gonna mess him up so bad he's gonna be burpin' out of his butt, and shittin' out of his mouth!" Temari yelled.

"I'm gonna mess him up so bad that even Orochimaru wouldn't want to molest him anymore!" Ten-Ten yelled.

"I'm gonna mess him up so bad that he'll look like Orochimaru!" Kurenai growled.

"Go! Go! Kosuna!" The girls yelled as they hi-fived each other all at once.

"What the hell?" Lee said.

"What's a Kosuna?" Chouji asked.

"Konoha meets Suna, equeals Kosuna!" The girls chimed as they stroke a pose.

"Yeah, whatever." Kankuro said while he rolled his eyes. "We need to locate Hinata."

"Hey!" Naruto yelled as he pouted. "Why does the girls get to have their own group, and cool poses?!"

"Gai-Sensei & I have cool poses!" Gai and Lee does their nice guy poses. "This shall be the guys pose!"

"..." Was the only response the boys gave them.

"Fine le--" Lee was cut off by Ten-Ten.

"Lee did you change your clothes this morning?" She asked with a corcked brow.

"Now that you think of it...Within the two and a half years...He's the only one whose outfit didn't change..." Ino stated.

"That's so unfair!" Sakura wailed.

"Yeah," Temari said as she grabbed Lee's right arm. "Come to the bathroom!" She commanded as the rest of the girls followed her.

"B-But I don't want too!" Lee whined in protest as he was dragged off.

-------

"Again! Again!" Orochimaru squealed as he clapped his hands.

"How many more times do I have to do this?" Hinata asked while she heavily breathed.

"You have to keep singing it, because it's the song that never ends!" Orochimaru laughed evily as he watched her wipe her tears away.

"This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on, my friend. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because—This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on, my friend. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because—This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on, my friend. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just bec--"

"Leave her alone Orochimaru!" Sasuke yelled from the doorway. "Mine!" Sasuke walked up to Hinata, and dragged her out of the room.

'Gaara where are you?' Hinata asked herself as she tried to pull her hand away.

-------

"Now presenting the new Rock Lee!" Ino & Sakura chimed. With that being said Temari & Ten-Ten shoved Lee into the kitchen. All eyes fell upon Lee. As snickering spoutered from the boys mouths. There before them stood Konoha's handsome green devil in a frilly green & black sundress. His short hair was pulled into two pigtails, and from what it looked like they hacked away at Lee's legendary thick brows. The boy sniffled as he ran towards Gai.

"GAI-SENSEI!!!"

"LEE?!"

"GAI-SENSEI!!"

"LEE?!"

"GAI-SENSEI!!" Lee squealed as he hugged his torso. "They've ruined my image Gai-Sensei!"

Gai turned around and punched TenTen in the face sending her through two walls. "Look what you've done TenTen!" He shouted with tears in his eyes. Everyone around them gaped at what just happened. Kakashi & Kurenai thwaped their friend on the head as they yelled.

"Dude what the hell?!" Kakashi yelled.

"Plus she's a kid!" Kurenai added.

"And a girl!" Kakashi stated.

"Oh, c'mon you guys are acting like you've never hit one of them!" Gai said.

"I ne--" Kakashi was cut off as Naruto sniffled.

"Kakashi-Sensei ass raped me with his fingers..."

"WHAT?!" Kurenai asked with terror.

"When we met for our test to see would we become genin or be sent back to the academy...He made us compete to see who can catch the jingle balls."

"EW! YOU MOLESTED A CHILD!" Kurenai & Gai said.

"What?! The test was "Get a bell!" Kakashi yelled.

"Yeah, but you did ass rape Naruto." Sakura protested.

"You know what screw you guys."

"Wow...I wonder is he the reason Sasuke left." Ino asked Temari.

-------

"Deidara, do you have any 3s?" Itachi asked while he held some cards in his hand.

"No, yeah." Deidara said as his free hand ate some chips.

"What? Do you have any 3s?"

"No, yeah."

"Which one is it?"

"No, yeah."

"...This is your last chance...Which one is it?..." Itachi said with a glare.

"No, yeah." He said as he gulped.

Itachi threw down his cards and grabbed Deidara by the throat. "Mangeko Sharigan!" Itachi yelled as his Sharigan spun wildly. Deidara eyes opened wide as his mind was throttled into a strange world.

-------Inside Tsukuyommi-------

He looked around and saw over one thousand clones of himself. "Oh fuck yeah! I can get use to this, yeah." He said as he walked over to one and french kissed it.

"Dude you're not suppose to enjoy this!"

"Itachi go be homo somewhere else."

"Just for that for the next 168 hours you'll watch yourself get ass raped by Kakazu & Hidan."

"You sick son of a bitch!"

"Let the sasuage feast began." Itachi disappeared as Kakazu & Hidan appeared.

-------Outside Tsukuyomi-------

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Deidara screamed as Itachi let go of his neck, and left him lying on the floor. He then picked Deidara's cards up, and hmmed.

"So he really didn't have any 3s..."

"Yo Ita--" Kisame looked at Deidara lying on the ground then sighed. "Poor kid, oh well...Itachi I just found this total hottie picture on the floor outside of the hideout!" He said as he showed Itachi the picture. Itachi's eyes widen slightly then lowered into a soft glare.

"Geez, I wish I knew her name."

"It's Mokoto--"

"So you know her?!"

"--Uchiha..."

"So this is your?"

"Yes..."

"Dude, I was just kidding!"

"So you think my mothers' a freak of nature?"

"No, I just--Uh...I just..."

"If you think my mothers' ugly then you think I'm ugly. Which I am not. Which means that you were lying...Which means I have to kill you..."

"Mommy..."

-------

"Sasuke Orochimaru needs you to go to the store to pick up a pregnancy test." Kabuto said as he stood infront of Sasuke's doorway.

"What?" Sasuke asked with a confused expression.

"Isn't he a man?"

"Yeah," Kabuto said with a sigh. "But for some reason he thinks he's pregnant."

"Fine whatever..." Sasuke said as he got up. "Keep an eye on her." He said as he left for the store to get the pregnancy test for Orochimaru.

"So, would you like something to eat Hinata-Hime?" Kabuto asked with a smile.

"Uh sure." She said as Kabuto took her to the kitchen where Orochimaru was eatting a bucket of ice cream.

"Oh my god! I think I'm going to name it Momo!" Orochimaru squealed.

"You're not pregnant." Hinata said bluntly.

"Huh?"

"It's just that your fatass don't know how to lay off the fuckin' food. You're fat man. Are you even tasting the food? Geez, slow down Shamoo." Orochimaru dropped his spoon as he listened to Hinata's cruel words.

"I'm---I'm fat!" He cried as he ran out the room.

"N-No Lord Orochimaru you're not! She was just kidding!" Kabuto yelled as he chased after him.

'Sorry, but it hurt me more than it hurt you.' Hinata said as she activated her Byakugan, and ran out of the kitchen. She scanned the halls as she ran past doors looking for the exit. Light soon splashed across her face as she ran out of the hideout. 'I so rock!' Hinata squealed to herself as she ran through the woods.

-------

The room was still foaming about Gai hitting TenTen, and about Kakashi ass raping Naruto, but soon the room came quiet when laughter roared throughout the room.

"Mwuahahahaha!" Gaara started to laugh un-controlably.

"Um Gaara are you okay?" Lee asked with a worried look.

"I'm great! I mean my wife been kidnap by a missing-nin, and I have to track her down with a group of brain dead asstards! I'm having the time of my life!"

"Geez," Naruto said as he scratched the back of his head with a slight frown. "You don't have to be mean."

"Sorry, Gaara-Sama calm down. We'll divert our attention back to Hinata." Sakura said a little shakily.

"Yup!" Ino chimed in.

"Good." Gaara said as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Shino." Gaara said as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Yes?"

"We need you to send ano--"

"Like hell I will! Don't you people get it?! Jezebel is dead! D-E-A-D! DEAD! I won't send another of my precious-precious bugs after her!" Gaara's mouth twitched a bit as he finally couldn't hold his anger in anymore.

"Listen, I've been nice this whole time! Either you send some of your bugs out or I'll slaughter you all!"

"That's fine by me."

"What the hell are you saying Shino?!" Everyone yelled.

"Yeah, I'm to pretty to die!" Ino yelled.

"I'm to much of a bomb shell to die!" Temari chimed in.

"I can't die! I'm getting married!" Sakura said.

"I'm to smart to die!" Ten-Ten yelled.

"I'm to yo--" Kurenai was cut off when everyone in the room coughed. "I'm to sexy to die..." She said with a sigh, but all the boys except for Naruto, Shikamaru, and Gaara agreed. Those three wasn't stupid.

"Fine!" Shino cried.

"Good!" Naru chimed.

"Now I'll make an import--Where's Kiba?" Gaara asked.

"I think he's upstairs. I'll go get him." Chouji said.

"I'll do it. I have to go get something from my room anyway." He said as he left the kitchen, and headed towards the room. While Gaara was heading down the hall he heard something coming from his room. "Hn?" He said as he opened the door. His left eye started to twitch as he slamed the door behind him. He was staring at Kiba who was wearing a pair of Hinata's panties on his head, and jumping on their bed.

"That's it you're dead!"

"It's not what it looks like."

"Grr!" Gaara growled as sands rushed at Kiba.

-------

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Kiba's scream could be heard down stairs.

"Someone shoudl really go do something." Kakashi said.

"Well, not me." Lee said. "I'm not stupid."

"Ditto." Said Ino and Temari.

"Same goes for us." Sakura said.

"Kiba was a loyal, obident, trustworthy, and good friend...He'll be missed." Shino said.

"Why are you refering to him as if he was a dog?" Shikamaru said.

"Oh, right you were banging Temari...Well Kiba said he's a dog."

"So he's a tramp." Shikamaru said.

"Yup, and his mom's a bitch!" Naruto added.

"Hey, quick question." Chouji said with a serious face.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"Do they have sex with dogs?"

"..."

-------

**To Be Contiued**

**Sorry people you'll have to find out in the next chapter XD**

**Geez, I'm a bitch for doing that!**

**Well anywho, I hoped you liked this chapter.**

**Because I really had fun writing it.**

**Please Read & Review.**

**Hugs & Kisses**

**From**

**The Beautiful Yet Deadly Killer Kunoichi Nimiko (blows a kiss, and gives a wink)**


	7. Bonous Chapter One

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor the Naruto characters.**

**AN: -hides-**

-------

Naruto: Awe man. I thought she'll never update! C'mon everyone lets go find Hinata!

Hinata: Um Naruto this isn't an update.

Naruto: WAIT WHEN DID SHE GET BACK?!

Sasuke: It's not an update.

Gaara: Nimiko, still have writer's block so until she gets over it, she'll giving them a little tie over until she's done with her writer's block.

Naruto: If she have writer's block then how did she come up with this shit? --;

Nimiko: Well...Beats me.

Naruto: You're a horrible person!

Nimiko: -blinks- How?

Naruto: You're making your sweet viewers wait! That's a bitchy move!

Nimiko: -sniffles- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Gaara: I'm getting impatient...

Hinata: Y-Yeah me too. S-Sorry Nimiko-Chan.

Nimiko: Ye too Hinata? Ye too?

Sakura: Well who will blame her Nimiko?

Hanabi: Yeah, and I wasn't even in the last chapters! What gives?!

Nimiko: -whimpers- I'm sorry...

Neji: Plus you did the pairings all wrong.

Everyone: nods- Yup.

Nimiko: Really?

Everyone: -nods again- Yup.

Hanabi: I love Neji-Nii-San!

TenTen: But I love him too!

Neji: But I'm in love Hinata!

Kiba: No I love her!

Shino: I love her to!

Hinata: B-But I'm in love with Naruto!

Naruto: Huh?! Wah? Really, but I love Sakura!

Rock Lee: But I love Sakuura too!

Sakura: And I love Sasuke!

Sasuke: But I love Pocky!

Gaara: No, not my pocky!

Choji: Pocky is mine!

Kakashi: I love Icha Icha...-thinks- I miss the way my Sensei use to touch me...-tear-

Kurenai: Asuma's gone!

Gai: No one loves me because I wear spandex, and have think eyebrows.

Ino: I love Shikamaru & Temari!

Temari: I love Shikamaru & Ino!

Shikamaru: That's good to know.

Nimiko: Guess what?

Everybody: Hmm?

Nimiko: I don't friggen care!

Everybody: -tear-

-Itachi appears along with Deidara, Kisame, Kakazu, and Hidan-

Deidara: What the hell is wrong with you?!

Hidan: Jashin shall punish you!

Nimiko: Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.

Kakazu: I rather l--

Everyone: -stares-

Kakazu: I hated it.

Everyone: -doesn't believe him-

Itachi: I'm glad you approve Nimiko.

Nimiko: Really?

Itachi: Yes. In the next chapter you should let me kill the Akatsuki memebers.

Nimiko: That would make a great chapter. I'll think it over. -smiles-

Itachi: Yay!

Akatsuki Members: -stands there with their mouths hung open-

Hidan: You think that makes up for what you did Nimiko?!

Nimiko: Cool it. It was just fanservice.

Hidan: Hmph.

Nimiko: Everyone say bye! -waves at her viewers- I hope you can wait a little longer!

Everyone: Don't worry if she don't will kill her. -everyone takes out their weapons, and readies them at nimiko-

Nimiko: -eyes grow big- Meep!

**AN: Sorry!**


	8. December 7th

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor the Naruto characters.**

**AN: (walks in cover'd with bruises) T-The Naruto cast said I didn't move fast enough. Mangeko is something I don't pray upon my wrost enemies. Itachi...Carebears...Lucky Charms...Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! A-A-Anywho, I had so much fun writing chapter 6. I couldn't stop laughing when I wrote the Gai punching TenTen part. Just thinking about it makes me laugh. (sighs happily) I was very pleased with chapter 6 out come. Okay! Enough with flashbacks, lets start chapter 7! Thanks for the reviews! They really mean a lot to me. (cheesy smile)**

**Chapter 7: December 7th**

-------

"Oh my god..."

"Sasuke, please calm down." Kabuto said as he tried to comfort him.

"No. Seriously dude! Oh my god!"

"S-She was so mean to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Orochimaru cried as he huggled his carebear plush doll.

"Awe. She didn't mean it Lord Orochimaru." Kabuto said as he pat Orochimaru's head.

"Yes she did!" Orochimaru cried out as he fled to his bedroom.

"THAT'S IT MAN! I'M ENDING IT TO NIGHT!" Sasuke yelled as he grabbed a plastic knife, and tried to slit his wrists.

"Oooookay..." Kabuto said as he took the knife away. "No need to cut yourself over spill'd milk...Seriously Sasuke..."

"Che. I need to go write in my journal how life sucks, because the girl I kidnapped escaped with my heart..." Sasuke sulked all the way to his room.

'I should of just stayed with the Konoha medic team.' Kabuto sighed as he clutched the plastic knife in his hands.

-------

"Hello!" Hanabi said as she waved her hands in the air. "Did you guys forget about me?!"

"Huh? Wah? Oh it's just Hanabi." Naruto said as he continued to lecture Kiba about why he shouldn't wear people's underwear on his head.

"What do you mean by _**it's just Hanabi**_?!"

"Gosh kids should be seen, and not heard." He said as he roll'd his eyes.

"Oh that's it" She screech'd as she threw a coffee cup at Naruto's head. "Now it's ooooooooooon!" She said in a deep voice.

"Why you little bush baby! I know it's on, and I'm going to bring it, because it's ooooooooooon now!" He said as he roll'd up his sleves.

"Fuck yeah it's ooooooooooon!" Hanabi yell'd as she charged at him.

Sakura sigh'd as she tripp'd Hanabi, and punch'd Naruto in the nose. You could hear some of his bones crack from the impact of Sakura's fist. "Quiet down." She said as she finish'd healing Kiba, and banaging him. She then turn'd around and fold'd her arms sending them a death glare. "Sorry!" They shriked as they whimper'd.

"Listen as much as I love to see Naruto get the shit beat out of him," Kankuro said with closed eyes, and folded arms yelled. "WE HAVE TO FIND HINATA-HIME!"

"Hime? Since when did Hinata become a Hime?" Sakura said with a pout.

"Because she's the fairest of them all." Gaara said with a smile, his smile then went blank, as he raised his hairless eyebrows that Rock Lee stole, and said. "Oh my god! I just went out of character...I caught stuppid from you people!"

All of a sudden Yamato raised behind Naruto doing his funny scary face that creeps everyone out. "Yes, yes you have just went out of character, and now you have seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeven daaaaaaaays!" He said in a witchy type voice as he then threw a cloak around him, and disappeared.

"I think I just piss'd myself." Naruto whimpered.

"Clean up on, in the kitchen." Temari yelled.

The same lady from somedays ago came in and clean'd the mess up. "I should go all Uchiha Itachi on them. Pissin' all over the place. What's the hell wrong with them?! Have they ever heard of the tolit...Great invention...Honor it, and fuckin' use it! I hate these bastards. I should of stay'd in the ninja academy, and become a kickass kunoichi..." The lady mumbled as she clean'd the floor, and left.

"I like her she seems like a sweet young proper lady." Sakura said with a smile.

"OMG mi bugs," Shino squealed. "Just fo--" Before he could finish Kiba punched Shino in the face making him hit the wall. "WTF was that 4?!"

"Haven't learn'd your lesson have you?!" Kiba scream'd as he punched him in the face. "Don't!" **Punch**. "Use!" **Punch**. "Net!" **Punch**.** "**Speak!" **Punch**."In!" **Punch**. "Real!" **Punch**. "LIFE!" **Punch**.

"Calm down Kiba! Calm down!" Lee yelled as he pulled Kiba away from Shino. "The Springtime of Youthfulnes is against this! Don't let the Youthfullness smite you! Don't let it smite yooooooooou!" Lee screamed as he cried. He then wiped away his tears as he then sighed, and looked at Shino. "So what did you just find out about Hinata?" Lee asked with a smile.

"I just found out that Dumplings at the Rah-Rah-Woah place is having a sale!"

"...Fuck the Springtime of Youthfullness!" Lee took Shino by his shirt collar, and started hitting him in the face. "Find!" **Another punch. **"Hinata!" **Punch**.

-------

"Excuse me sir, but where am I at?" Hinata asked with teary eyes. Hinata was wearing a potatoe sack as a outfit since, her Kimono got wet, dirty, and dewy.

"You're in Iwagakure." The old man said as he tipped his hat to Hinata then left.

"You gotta be fu--" Just then an old woman came up to Hinata as she clutched her walking stick.

"Deary," The lady crock'd out with a toothless grin. "I know a place that you can stay to regain your strength.

"Um...Okay!" Hinata said.

"Good. Good." The lady said as she lead Hinata down a dirt path road. They stopped once they got to a huge boulder. "Hey, I got a girl for you now fork over my pay!"

"Wah? Huh? What's going on?!"

"Sorry deary, but it was either me on you."

"Here's your pay." Said a mysterious voice while her lurked in the darkness. All the sudden a pizza with everything on it was given to the lady.

"Oh yeah that's the good stuff. Ooooh daddy. Yeah. "The old lady crocked as she walked off rubbing her face against the pizza.

"Uh..." Hinata back'd up as she laughed nervously. "I-I think it's time for me to go..." Vines came from the opening, and wrapped around her ankles and dragged her in. She sat in the darkness for awhile until the lights came on. "U-Um is anyone there?" She squeaked out.

"Yes." Said a man in a black cloak, with red clouds on it.

"Akatsuki!" Hinata gasped.

"Yes! Fear us!" Said the man that was standing before her. 'Hey, do you want some cookies? My name is Toby. Toby's a good boy."

"Uh I suppose." The boy named Tobi dragged Hinata into the kitchen where a boy laid on the ground shivering. Sitting at the table was a man with a X mark on his face, and a fish like man with many burises.

"Ah. It's the Hyuuga Heiress."

"UCHIHA ITACHI!"

**DUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!**

"Please not so loud. My head is killing me." The fishman cried as he put an ice pack on his head. He look'd at Tobi, and sighed. "Why is she here?"

"I don't know some creepy old lady said she brought her for someone." Tobi chimed.

"Yes. She's my mail order'd bride." Itachi said with a wink towards Hinata.

"B-But I'm already married!"

"Well why were you all alone?" He asked with a raised brow.

"Um well...I'm lost..."

"Well...Finders keepers...loser weepers!" Itachi said with the victory sign.

'Please someone kill me...Please." Hinata sighed to herself.

-------

"C'mon road trip!" Naruto shout'd as they all **FINALLY** left the mansion.

"This isn't a road trip, it's a mission."

"Wah. We're on a mission?" Naruto asked with a curious face.

"We've been on a mission all the long." Gaara groan's aggravation.

"Wait." Gai said seriously.

"Huh? Why?" Ino asked.

"Before we leave we should pray to the God & Goddess of Springtime Youth!"

"Uh...No thanks..." Kakashi said while he had his book to his face.

"Lee you can lead us in the prayer!"

"Really Gai-Sensei?!"

"Of course Lee!" Gai said as he did his nice guy pose.

"Oh. Gai-Sensei I'm so happy!" Runs in slow motion to Gai.

"Lee!" Runs towards Lee in slow motion.

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

They did that for five minutes until Shikamaru tripped them, and sighed. "Troublesome."

"YOSH! I MUST LEAD THE PRAYER!" Lee chimed as he quickly stood up, and grabbed everyone's hand.

"Hey where's Hanabi?" Neji asked.

"I don't know." TenTen shrugged.

"I think she went home." Kurenai said.

"Nah. I think she said she was going to battle the great serphant of the west." Choji said.

"Yeah, I think she said that too." Temari agreed.

"Shut up! I'm trying to pray!"

-------

"Hello! Where's everyone at?" Hanabi screamed as she wandered in the maze. "Damnit they dish'd me!"

-------

**To Be Contiued**

**I hope you liked this chapter.**

**Please Read & Review.**

**Hugs & Kisses**

**From**

**The Beautiful Yet Deadly Killer Kunoichi Nimiko (blows a kiss, and gives a wink)**


	9. Bonous Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Inuyasha, Ouran Host Club, Wolf's Rain, nor Furuba, and I don't own the Characters.

AN: I was bored.

Nimiko: Hi everyone! It's me Nimiko! This whole thing is about moi! (gets whacked on the head with paper fans) Ouch! (looks to the right, and glares at Itachi & Sasuke) What are you guys doing here?!

Ita & Sasu: Ahem. Did we hear wrong or did you say **this whole thing is about moi**?

Nimiko: Yes!

Itachi: (sighs) Take a look at the catagory. (points to the top of the page) It doesn't say **Nimiko**!

Sasuke: What a complete douche bag...

Nimiko: Hey, you can't disrespect me like that! My loyal viewers would hate you!

Ita & Sasu: (smirks)

Nimiko: Wah?

Itachi: You have to be kidding me.

Nimiko: Huh?

Sasuke: We're the Uchihas...The last of the Uchihas...

Itachi: So for the time being we're the only emocentric, black hair, black eyes, sharigan holders on the face of the earth.

Sasuke: Not to mention we're sexy.

Itachi: (nods) Your "**loyal viewers**" would side with us.

Nimiko: (tears up) You guys wouldn't side with them would you?! (does puppy dog eyes. nimiko then gets hit by a doggy treat) Is it abuse Nimiko Day?!

Kiba: We find that offensive!

Nimiko: That's my trade mark!

Kiba: No! That's Akamaru & mine trade mark! (growls)

Akamaru: Bark! Bark!

Nimiko: You guys are horrible!

Inuyasha: No you're the horrible one.

Kagome: Yeah!

Sango: (glares as she leans against her weapon) Yeah, like seriously you have fanfics that was created in _**2004**_ and still isn't finished yet!

Miroku: I just want you to know that I forgive you. (touches nimiko's butt)

Nimiko: (growls then breaks miroku's arm) Pervert!

Itachi: (sighs) You can't call him a pervert.

Nimiko: Yes I can!

Itachi: No you can't...

Nimiko: Says you! (sticks her tongue out at itachi)

Itachi: Don't stick your tongue out unless you're going to use it. (smirks)

Nimiko: (eyes widen and she puts her tongue back in her mouth) Whatever, but anyway...I'm not a pervert!

Itachi: Really?

Nimiko: Really.

Neji: (uses byukagun) She's lying.

Sasuke: We know.

Naraku: (walks in with kagura and kikyo) My Saimyosho told us about you reading (**beep**) fanfics.

Nimiko: It's a lie! It's nothing, but lies!

Tamaki: (twirls in while being followed by rose petals) Yes! Yes! It's nothing but lies! (huggles nimiko close)

Nimiko: (sighs and melts in tamaki's arms) Someone finally understands me. (goes into lala-land)

Kyouya: (walks in with hunny, mori, hikaru, kaoru, haruhi, nekozawa, and renge) No. I checked our Fanfic arthur's flies, and she's been reading (**beep**) fanfics.

Hikaru: People like you need to be taught a lesson. (smirks)

Kaoru: I agree Hikaru. (smirks as well)

Haruhi: What's (**beep**) fanfics?

Renge: Oh it's whe-- (mouth gets covered by tamaki and the twins)

Tamaki: Oh Haruhi you don't need to know!

The Twins: That's right! (glares at nimiko along with tamaki)

Nimiko: Wah?

Tamaki: (snaps his fingers then points at kyouya) Get ready for ODPN! Hikaru! Kaoru! Stand in position!

Hunny: What about me and Takashi?! (smiles)

Tamaki: Mori you stand stocily and Hunny--

Hunny: (sighs) I know eat my cake! (rushes towards his sweets)

Mori: (watches hunny eat his sweets)

Nimiko: (blinks)

Tamaki: Read---Steady---Go!

The Twins: (de-pants nimiko)

Kyouya: (takes a picture)

Tamaki: Ha!

Nimiko: (stands stun'd in her _my little ponies underwear_)

Hinata: NI-NI-NIMIKO, WHAT A-ARE YOU DOING?!

Nimiko: Hina-Hime it's not what it looks like!

Hinata: (cries)

Akatsuki, Sasuke, Gaara, Neji, Kiba, & the Ouran Host Club: (walks over to hinata, and comforts her) Awe. Don't cry, because of that mean ol' Nimiko. We'll protect you. (looks over at nimiko and smirks evily)

Nekozawa: I can cast a spell on her for you.

Hinata: N-No it's o-okay...I'm j-just really d-disapponted in Nimi-Sama...

Nekozawa: The offer will always lye in the dark abyss my lovely corpse bride. Mwuahahahahaha...

Hinata: T-Thanks...I-I think.

Nimiko: (pulls her pants up) Hmph! Screw you guys I'm going home!

Sesshoumaru: (trips nimiko)

Nimiko: (falls)

Haruhi: (helps nimiko up) Sorry about everyone. They're just upset, because you kind of take to long to update. Uh...Well anyway...If your viewers really does love you then they'll be patient. (does her natural smile) It actually gave me a little more time to study.

Hinata: Yeah. She's right. I'm sorry about going a little over-board Nimi-Sama. (smiles shyly and blushes) It actually gave me some time to practice some of my jutsus. Thanks Nimi-Sama.

Nimiko: (smirks) Do you guys wanna come over my house, and talk, and stuff?

Haruhi: Sure. We don't have school today, and exams are over so I have some free time.

Hinata: Yeah. I've been practicing none stop. So it'll be nice to just relax with some girls that's actually smart. Oh, can Ten-Ten, Temari, Ino, and Tayuya come as well.

Haruhi: Can Renge come too?

Renge: Please?!

Cheza, Blue, & Tohru: (comes in) Can we come too?

Kiba, Hige, Kyo, & Yuki: Wah?!

Nimiko: (smirks some more) Hey, all the girls can come!

Kagome, Sango, Kikyo, & Kagura: Thanks so much!

Renge: Yay!

Hinata: Thanks!

Nimiko: (looks over at the guys and smirks) See you guys later. (turns back and see the other girls arrive) So whose up for Twister?!

The Girls: I haven't played in a long time!

Kagome: It's going to be so much fun!

Nimiko: (leaves with the girls)

Itachi: Did anyone notice that Hinata didn't stutter at all...

The Guys: Yeah...

The Twins: What is her secret?...

Tamaki: (notices that nimiko dropped a can of tag body spray) She was using TAG!

The Guys: That's cheating! (scrambles for the can, and spray themselves. the can label falls off, and under the label it reads: **tag body spray for obssessed fangirls and yaoi addicts**)

OF & YA: OMG! OMG! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOI! LOOK! LOOK! I SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THEM! (screams)

The Guys: NIMIKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

-------

The Girls: Did you hear something Nimi-Sama?

Nimiko: Nope.

-------

The Guys: (5hrs later it finally wears off) That---That bitch...

Sakura: (comes in) Why wasn't I invited?

Sasuke: Because you're a Barbie.

Itachi: A bitch.

Kiba: Flat Cheasted

Neji & Gaara: You're a _Cotton-Candy-Whore_.

Akatsuki: Just face it...Everyone hates you.

Ouran, Wolf's Rain, & Furuba: We don't even know you, and we hate you.

Sakura: Wah! Tsunade Sensei don't hate me!

Tsunade: (stumbles in with shizune and kurenai supporting her) Hicup! I only trained you, because I lost a bet to that bastard Kakashiiiiiiiii...Hicup! He didn't wanna train you anymore, because he said you was a whore, and a hicup! Cotton Candy one too! Hicup! Come on Shizu-San! Nimiko invited us. So we must not be late! I brought the boooze!

Shizune: Tsunade-Sama you drunk all of it...(sighs then turns to look at sakura) Sorry Sakura, but it's true no one likes you...Rock Lee...He only liked you, because he like agressive women, but I heard he's with some other chick he found that was more aggressive, and less bitchy than you. As for Naruto he finally became the 6th Hokage, and...Well he's shackin' up with every cutie he's sees, and it appears he's a fan of the boobs. So...HA! I feel sorry for you!

Kurenai: I'm glad I didn't get stuck with her. (sighs) I had to do a strip show for the Chuunins & Jounins so I wouldn't get her in my group.

Kakashi: I wanted Hinata on my squad...(blood stain appears on his mask) Mmm...

Sakura: (sulks away)

-------

Nimiko: HA! BURN!

The Girls: Huh?

Nimiko: Oh nothing. (watches tsunade stumble in with shizune) Yay! You made it!

Shizune: Sorry, but she drunk all the booze she was suppose to bring.

Nimiko: I never told her to bring any booze. (blinks)

Shizune: (glares at tsunade)

Tsunade: Ha! I gottcha bi--hicup!

-------

AN: I was bored.

P.S. Okay I think I will start calling these kinda segments Bonous chapters. It's just rambles. Sometimes the Naruto characters, myself, or even other characters would answer your questions about this fanfic. Or just random questions you have. Sometimes I might even ask you questions.

First Question: There's this funny scene that I made up for a chapter in 25 Days, _**BUT**_ it will be a spoiler for Ch.356...Should I do it.


	10. December 8th

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor the Naruto characters.**

**AN: Dear fellow viewers I am sorry to the very end of my heart to say that, I Nimiko is **_**discontinuing**_** this fanfic.**

**Nimiko: Hahaha! Just kidding! Hahaha! You should of seen the look on your faces! (a hand grabs nimiko, and pulls her into the closet)**

**(walks in with a broken leg, while being pushed through the door by itachi)**

**Nimiko: (mumbles)**

**Itachi: I don't think your faithful viewers heard you...**

**Nimiko: I'm sorry for taking to long to update...(pouts)...**

**Itachi: What else...**

**Nimiko: I'm sorry for playing that awful joke on you guys...(pouts some more)**

**Itachi: Isn't there anything else? (itachi smirks)**

**Nimiko: Weasels are the most intellegent creatures on the face of the earth, and one day they shall rule us all...**

**Itachi: Good!**

**Nimiko: Augh...**

**Itachi: Don't worry viewers the Naruto cast shall keep Nimi-San in check! (poofs)**

**Nimiko: Memo to self...Destroy all weasels...(glares, and have a **_**dun dun dun duuuuun**_** theme music in the background)**

**Chapter 8: December 8th**

-------

"I fade to nothingness, when you're gone. Your sent...Your touchess...Leave me breathless, but now since you're gone I fade away into the dark abyss." Sasuke stood on the kitchen table as some unfortunate souls where forced to watch. "I remeber the first day I saw you--"

-------Flash Back-------

"Hi there!" Said a six year old Sasuke.

"Hi..." Responed a six year old Hinata.

"You know what?" Sasuke asked.

"Ano?" Hinata asked with a bright smile, and a faint blush because the boy every girl her age liked was talking to her.

"When we're older I'm gonna kidnap you, and molest you!"

"...U-Uh...I-I have t-t-to go...I left m-my Eazy Back O-Oven on!..." She eeped as she ran out of the playground, and that's when Hinata developed her stuttering problem.

-------Flash Back Ends-------

"Pop. Sizzle. Bang. Goes my heart. As I re--" Kabuto flipped over the table as he sighed. "C'mon we're going to look for Hinata..." He said with a slight glare.

"Really?! Yay!" Sasuke & Orochimaru squealed.

"Why are you squealing I thought you didn't like her." Kabuto asked.

"Well," Orochimaru said as he ran his fingers though his hair, and tossed it. "I just figured she was just jealous of my beauty."

"Yeah...Yeah...Orochimaru that's it." Sasuke & Kabuto said as they rolled their eyes.

"Anywho." Orochimaru asked while he hugged his carebear plush doll to his chest. "What are you going to do when you find Hinata?"

"I'm going to slit her throat then mines...If I can't have her no one can..."

"Maybe we should reconsider on going to find her." Orochimaru said with a slight sweatdrop.

-------

"C'mon Ms.Potatoe-Sack-Girl," Tobi chimed as he grabbed Hinata's hand. "We're going to look for a nice wedding kimono for you, and maybe a few lingere items." He added the last part with a giggle.

"Wah?!" She gasped as she covered her mouth. "B-But I'm already married! That's adultery!"

"Well now and days you're consider an adult at the age of 25!" Tobi said as he cuffed his chin. "So it's not **adultery**." Hinata sighed as she was dragged out the house by Tobi.

"Poor. Poor. Girl." Kisame sighed as he drunk some orange juice. His eyes slowly shifted towards Diedara. He was still stuck in that freaky world. "Poor. Poor. Deidara. He shouldn't of ended it with a yeah." He tsked at the people he pitied as he continued to drink his juice. Kisame watched as Itachi walked into the kitchen. "What do you have in that bag?" Kisame asked. His only response was a perverted chuckle.

"Behold the outfit of justice!" Itachi roared as he whipped out a **very** skimpy maid outfit. Kisame eyes widened.

"She'll look delectible in that outfit..." Zetsu said as he walked into the kitchen.

"If you touch or even look at her I'll spray you with weed killer." Itachi growled through clenched teeth.

"Hn." Zetsu huffed as he walked out of the kitchen.

-------

Gaara and the others leapt through the trees with top speed. For once everything was quiet. Well it was quiet until Sakura said something.

"I say we leave Hinata, and go get something to eat."

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Gaara, Neji, and Kiba roared.

"She's a smart kunoichi, she should at least know what to do in this situation!" She yelled back. Neji stopped in his tracks as he rolled his sleeves up, and got in his fighting stance.

"That's it you Cotton-Candy Whore!"

"**BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN**!" Naruto laughed as he slipped off his branch, and hit the ground with a thud.

"Dude, he just called your wife a _Cotton-Candy Whore_!" Chouji said with a sweatdrop.

"You're all suppose to be Chuunin act--" Kakashi eyes looked at Naruto. "Well you're all teenagers so act like it." With a huge sigh Neji started running again. Everyone soon followed as they all laughed inwardly about Neji calling Sakura a _Cotton-Candy Whore_.

-------

"Oh my god!" Tobi chimed as he held a dress up. "This will match your eyes perfectly."

"Um...Yay?" Hinata said as she crept away from Tobi. Tobi somehow noticed her actions through his one eye opening on his mask, and pulled her back towards him.

"I'm not that stupid."

"So you admit that you're stupid?"

"I'm as crazy as a coconut."

"Wah?" Hinata asked puzzled. "I asked did you admit that you're stupid. Where did this _coconut_ come from. Plus the phrase is, '_I'm as crazy as a fox_'"

"I suppose so." Tobi said as he rubbed his mask. Hinata eyebrows rose a little as she then stood in Tobi's face, and examined the mask. "What are yo doing?"

"How do you look under that mask?"

"Haha! I actually can't remeber. It's been awhile since I took it off." He slightly tilted his head towards the left, and said, "Now I'm curious too." Without hesitation Tobi pulled his mask off. The store fell silent as gagging noises could be heard around the area.

"O-Oh m-my god!" Hinata screamed as she started throwing up, and when she started vomiting it started a train reaction causing everyone to vomit. As she was vomitting she choked out, "P-P-Put your m-mask back on!"

"Wah? I-I'm ugly?!" Tobi quickly put his mask back on, and ran back to the hide-out.

"My darling bride is back!" Itachi declared as he opened his arms ready to catch his Hinata in his arms. A vein throbbed on top of his head when he saw Tobi come in by hiself. "Tobi...Where is my Hina-Hime?" He growled behind clenched teeth. Behind Itachi, Kisame was mouthing the words, _**Run Tobi run!**_ Tobi didn't understand what Kisame was trying to say so he stood there, and sniffled. Kisame smacked his head as he thought to hiself. '_He's so dead..._'

"H-Hinata was being mean!" Tobi cried.

"I don't care! Where is Hinata?" He asked again.

"Some store in the vill--" Itachi gripped Tobi's neck as he glared.

"You left my bride in the village by herself?..."

"S-S-She wasn't b-by h-herself..."

"Who was there?" He gripped Tobi's throat tighter.

"T-T---The V-----Vi------Villagers-----" Itachi glared for a few more minutes as he then released Tobi from his grip.

"..." Itachi turned, and left the room as he left for the village. As Itachi left Hidan & Kakuzu walked in.

"What the fuck is going on guys?! Man its been such a long time! Damnit I missed being here!" Hidan yelled in a happy voice.

"Yeah," Kakuzu added. "Can you believe someone actually changed the locks on the other hide-out?"

"Now who would do such a thing?" Kisame asked as he sweatdropped.

"Remeber Kisa-Chan you changed the locks before we left?" Tobi asked. The room fell silent as everyone stared at each other.

-------

Hinata stumbled out of the store as she weezed for air. "I think Tobi just scared the stutter right out of me." She sighed out. Once she regained her posture she noticed the Tobi was nowhere to be found. "I'm free! I'm free!" She shouted as she started to run through the crowd towards the village exit.

-------

"I purposely groped Hinata during our fight at the Chuunin exams." Neji said as he ran through the trees.

"Shino and I hooked a mirco camra into Akamaru's fur, and watched her undress." Kiba mumured, Shino admitted with a slight nod, and Akamaru barked.

"I use to undress Hinata with my eyes." Chouji said as he scratched his head.

"I wanted to cover Hinata with Ramen, and eat it off of her slender body. Plus I wanted to gang-bang her with Sasuke-Teme." Naruto sighed dreamily.

"I wanted to use my puppets as bondage for Hinata." Kankuro said unhappily.

"I always pictured her in Lee & mine outfits." Gai admitted.

"I always wanted to practice my _taijutsu_ _moves_ on her." Lee said.

"Let me just say the Sharigan can be used more than one way." Kakashi smirked. "Mmm Hina-Hime..."

"You guys are being troublesome lets just get this over with already." shikamaru sighed. '_I use to grope her with my Shadow Jutsu..._' He chuckled to hiself.

"Everything I wanted to do to her when I was younger," Gaara said in his usual tone. "I'm doing to her now."

"Bastard." The guys mumured.

"Wait," Gaara said with a twitch of his eye. "Wait. You guys listed off things you thought was wrong about Hinata..." Everyone became silent as a few coughs arose.

"Ahem." Neji started.

"Huh." Kiba stated.

"I left." Shino remained silent.

"Bark..." Akamaru whimper'd.

"No comment..." Chouji quickly said.

"Same!" Naruto said after Chouji.

"Bondage..." Kankuro chuckled.

"We wasn't there." Gai & Kakashi said in unision.

"I left with with Shino...Well I was dragged away." Lee said.

"I don't remeber what you're talking about." Shikamaru lied as he yawned.

"You guys called her: Mousy, Gloomy, Weak, Unapporchable, Quiet, and Thin..." Gaara slightly hissed.

"To tell you the truth I was trying to break you guys up." Neji honestly said.

"Yeah." The others nodded.

"Is that so?" Gaara asked.

"Looks like it." The boys said.

"Since I need you for searching for Hinata I'll left you live for now, but after this mission I'm going to kill _all_ of you."

"Wait even us?" Temari asked nervously.

"No. Well maybe Sakura."

"What! Why only me?!"

"Because you're a whore." Gaara said emotionously.

"A Cotton-Candy one." Neji added.

"I have to agree." Naruto said.

"What, but I'm your wife!" Sakura fumed. "How can you say that about me?!"

"Well...I was going to ask Hinata-Chan, but she ended up dating then marrying Gaara." Naruto said sadly. "Bye. Bye. Ramen fantasy."

"Shikamaru!" Ino & Temari chimed as they ran beside Shikamaru, and held his hands.

"What?" He asked without even looking at them.

"We're so happy that you didn't have eyes for Hinata!" They chimed again.

"Yeah, whatever you say." He said as he chuckled to hiself. '_Heh. Shadow Jutsu._'

"I'll admit I wish I was Hinata's age. I would of so go Lez for her." Kurenai said.

"Heh. You're not alone!" Ten-Ten laughed. "I found myself flirting with her before. An it wasn't light flirting.

"Temari & I use to fight about who was going to marry her." Ino laughed along with Temari.

"I tried to kiss her before." Sakura admitted.

"Ew!" Kurenai gagged out.

"That's fuckin' nasty!" Naruto yelled.

"You sick whore!" Gaara yelled at Sakura

"Oh my god! I knew that big-forehead of yours was thinking strange things!" Ino said in disgust.

"W-What, but you guys sa--" Sakura gasped out.

"Guh!" Kakashi looked away from Sakura as they traveled through the trees. "That's a horrible image!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei I'm scared!"

"I'm scared to Lee!"

"I think we're all scared!" Ten-Ten cried out.

"Thanks Sakura for giving everyone brain damage!" Temari yelled as she slapped Sakura.

"B-But!"

"What do you wanna grope Temari's butt?!" Ino yelled as she pulled Temari back to her and Shikamaru so she could finish running with them. "She's ours! Don't you even think about it!"

"Naruto you sure know how to pick them!" Kiba laughed.

'_What I wouldn't give for a hott bowl of ramen..._' Naruto sighed to hiself.

-------

"Sasuke what's wrong?" Kabuto asked.

"I-I miss her." Sasuke sighed.

"Awe, don't worry!" Orochimaru softly. "Here, rest your head on your mother's bosom." Orochimaru cooed as he took Sasuke's head, and laid it against his chest.

"Dude, what the fuck?!" Sasuke yelled as he pushed Orochimaru away from him.

"What?"

"Lord Orochimaru..." Kabuto said slowly.

"What's that?" He asked as he pointed towards Orochimaru's chest.

"Oh!" Orochimaru squealed. "I gave myself an early christmas present! I did a body switch with a woman!"

"You what?!" Kabuto & Sasuke choked out.

"Well it was this lady, and she was _**really**_ pretty, and I wanted to be like her. So I did a body switch. Then I can manipulate my body, and bring out certain parts. In this case it was her boobs! I can do a full transformation! Watch this!" In a poof of smoke Orochimaru was a woman with dark wavey black hair, purplish eyes, with golden like skin. "Call me Maru!" He giggled out.

"Wait...Was the woman you body switched with...pregnant?" Sasuke asked slowly.

"Yup." Orochimaru said in a girlish voice.

"Oh dear god..." Kabuto uttered.

"Hee! Hee! I can't wait until my baby is born."

"Lets just continue looking for Hina-Hime..." Kabuto said as Sasuke and him walked while trying to process everything.

"Wait up you guys!" Oro--Maru said as he...She ran to catch up with them.

-------

**To Be Contiued**

**I hope you liked this chapter.**

**Please Read & Review.**

**Hugs & Kisses**

**From**

**The Beautiful Yet Deadly Killer Kunoichi Nimiko (blows a kiss, and gives a wink)**


	11. December 9th

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor the Naruto Characters.**

**AN: (achoo) I-I'm (cough) S-Sorry for the late update. (coughing fit) Ever since summer vacation started I've been sick. Allergies. D-D-Damnit! (achoo) So please (sniffles) enjoy, and read and review.**

**Chapter 9: December 9th**

-------

"Okay we're not getting nowhere." Gaara said as he put his pack down.

"Yeah." Kankuro agreed as he did the same. "Who knows where Hinata could be right now."

"Yeah, she could be lying dead in a pond somewhere. Letting the crows eat her flesh as their becks rip through her flesh letting the blood gooze out of her open wounds, as the crows of death feathers lay on her exposed body." Said a voice from behind them. Everyone's eyes slowly drifted to the person talking as he did a fake smile. "She probably died without seeing a large penis."

"Sai! What the hell are you doing here?!" Naruto fumed. "And don't say things like that!"

"Hokage-Sama told me to come aid you guys." His fake smile never left as he continued to talk. "Was something wrong with what I said?"

"Sai!" Sakura screamed as she snuggled Sai.

"Um...Sakura?" Sai asked as he patted her back unsurely.

"They was being so mean to me yesterday!"

"Awe." He said with another fake smile. "Why is that?"

"I-I don't know."

"I'm sorry Sakura. We were just mad, because we've all known each other since we were kids, and you was suggesting leaving one of us behind...The Rookie 9 is a team..." Naruto said.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so bitchy...But what about that whole Hinata & Ramen dream?" Naruto pulled Sakura closer to hiself, and smiled. "I'll share that dream with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Awe, how freakishly sweet." Temari said as he clenched her teeth closed. "Now that the two asstards made up lets actually try, and find Hina-Hime!"

"Another brain has just been born." Gaara said in a grateful tone.

"Huh?" Everyone asked in unision.

"Nothing." Gaara said as he waved his hand saying. "This isn't working we're split--"

"No Gaara! If we split up we're all gonna die! Remeber 7 days! 7 days!" Naruto screamed.

"Shut. Up. Now." Gaara breathed out heavily.

"I think you should do what he says, or he might do something with your penis." Sai whispered to Naruto.

"We're splitting up into teams." When Temari & Ino heard this they clutched to Shikamaru, and whimpered.

"The teams will consist of Ino, Shikamaru, & Temari." Gaara made them a team so he didn't have to hear temari & Ino bitch about not getting paired with Shikamaru.

"Gai, Kakashi, Neji, Lee, & Chouji."

"Naruto, Sakura, & Kiba."

"Ten-Ten, Kurenai, and Shino."

"Kankuro, the boy with the tube top, and myself."

"W-Wait so you want Sai?" Naruto & Sakura asked together with hope in their eyes.

"Is something wrong with him?" Gaara asked with a glarey look in his eyes.

"Oh n-no. He's perfectly normal." Naruto grinned as he waved his hands infront of himself.

"Yeah. That Sai. He's such a manly man! Yup! He's the man of all men! He just can't be beat by no other man, because he's a manly man!" Sakura turned to Kiba and Naruto, and grinned. "Lets get going!" Sakura exclaimed as she grabbed Naruto & Kiba's hand. "We'll take the eastern area! Heh. Bye!" She said as jetted off with Naruto and Kiba. While everyone watched them run off until they couldn't be seen anymore everyone's eyes slowly shifted towards Sai.

"What a fugly bitch." Sai said with a fake smile.

-------

"Lord Orochimaru please calm down."

"B-But it hurts so much!"

"Augh! We're wasting valuable time..."

"Sasuke just hold on I need to tend to Orochimaru's wound."

"How the hell did he even get that wound?!"

"When we were at that Ramen House the cook stabbed me with a pair of chopsticks cause I said his son looked hott." Orochimaru whimpered.

"You have problems..." Sasuke mumured as Kabuto took Orochimaru's arms, and tried to bandage it. While he was bandaging it a stream of blood shot out of Orochimaru's wound and hit Kabuto's left eye.

"Argh!" Kabuto screamed as he tipped over, and held his eye. The blood was sizzling as he tried to wipe it off.

"Oh no! Kabuto I'm sorry!" Orochimaru squealed as he covered his mouth.

"Shut the fuck up!" Kabuto yelled as he grabbed some medicine from his bag, and cleaned his eye then bandaged it.

"Oh look my wound healed itself! I forgot it could do that!"

"I oughta..." Kabuto growled as he clenched his fists.

-------

"So I was all like you call that a penis? You should see mines! Then I so pulled my pants down, and they nearly drooled." Sai yapped away as Gaara & Kankuro walked alongside him.

'_I must remeber to kill Naruto & Sakura..._' Gaara thought to himself as he tried to tune Sai's penis talk out.

"Damnit! Enough about penises!" Kankuro yelled as punched a nearby tree. "If I have to hear about you and your penis one more time I'll fuckin' kill you...Got it?!"

"Someone obviously don't have a penis he's proud of." Sai commented before he let out a long sigh.

"Shut. Up." Gaara growled as they walked along the outskirts of a town.

-------

"Oh my god! I can't believe he fell for it!" Naruto laughed.

"I know! Sai? Manly? Never! Hahahaha!" Sakura laughed alongside Naruto as they walked with a very confused Kiba.

"Uh...Are you guys okay?"

"Fuck yeah we are!" Sakura screamed as she threw her hands in the air.

"We're rid of Sai for the whole mission. Nothing could ruin this!"

"Uh...Well when the missions over he's coming back." Kiba said.

"Pfft." They muttered in unision.

"Gaara's going to find out you tricked him."

"...Fuck..." They nearly cried.

-------

"Oh Shikamaru. I-Ino...Ah.." Temari moaned.

"Troublesome. Don't be so loud..." Shikamaru sighed.

"B-But it's hard not to you're so goooooood...A-A-Ah!" Ino moaned softly.

"If you two won't quiet do--"

"AAAAH! IT FEELS SO GOOD! FUCK YEAH!" They yelled in unision.

"That's it." Shikamaru groaned as he stopped messaging their feet. "You're both troublesome."

"Awe..." Ino and Temari whimpered.

-------

'_Oh good I'm the only guy in a team of women...schweeet._' Shino thought to himself as he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Hey. Shino what are you thinking about?" Ten-Ten asked because she was tired of the quietness.

"I was thinking about Hinata...She's a comrade, and I feel awful that I sat around, and---she---I feel like it's all my fault." Shino sobed.

"Awe. Don't feel like that Shino." Ten-Ten & Kurenai said as they hugged him.

'_Hehehehehe! Schweet!_' Shino laughed to himself as he nosebleed.

-------

"Pffft." Kakashi poked Gai as they walked behind Lee, Neji, & Chouji. "Did you ever talk to your students about the birds and the bees?"

"My gosh I didn't...What about you?" Kakashi shook his head.

I probably should of. I mean one married someone that talks to herself, and the other ones a stalker. Only if I could turn back the hands of time."

"Hmm. I guess this is the perfect time." Gai stated as he cuffed his chin. "Lee, Neji, and Chouji!"

"Hai, sensei!" They said in unision as they turned around to face Gai and Kakashi.

"I need to talk to you about..." Gai says in slow motion. "The---Birds---And---The---Bees!" All the boys faces turned white as they stood, and listened to Gai give a very **detailed** explaination. "That's where babies come from! Now that I explained that I will now tell you about the Time-of-the-Month, Yours & womens bodies, and other things!" Gai chimed as he and Kakashi finished talking to them as they walked.

-------

Kisame poked Deidara's body with a spork. "Itachi I thought that your Tsukuyomi was only suppose to feel like it been a week? He should of woken up like days after you performed that jutsu. Right?"

"Yup."

"Then why hasn't he woken up?"

"The hell if I know. Try whispering something in his ear. I'm busy. I didn't find Hina-Hime in town. She got away." Itachi said as he threw his Akatsuki coat on.

"Hmm. Tobi is cheating on you with Zetsu..." Kisame whispered in Deidara's ear. "Hold on I'm coming with you!" Kisame said as he ran after Itachi. As soon as they both left Deidara woke up.

"Snuggie-Bear is cheating on me with that freak of nature?!" Deidara cried.

"Sempai you're up!" Tobi squealed when he ran out of another and into the kitchen.

"You whore! How dare you cheat on me with Zetsu!" Deidara screamed as he slapped Tobi, and stormed off into his room.

"Ew. Sempai I think you took to many blows to the heads. I'm not gay, and we're not even together!" Tobi said.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Deidara screamed from his bedroom.

"Maybe I should just go back to Konoha..." Tobi sighed as he rubbed his arm.

-------

**To Be Contiued**

**I hope you liked this chapter.**

**Please Read & Review.**

**Hugs & Kisses**

**From**

**The Beautiful Yet Deadly Killer Kunoichi Nimiko (blows a kiss, and gives a wink)**


	12. December 10th

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the Naruto characters.**

**AN:**

**Naruto blinked his eyes a couple of times. "Did we hibernate?" Sakura smacked the back of his head which caused it to bleed. "No you idiot. The author was being a bitch again." She then healed the back of Naruto's neck.**

**"Geez. That was kinda mean of her." Naruto pouted. Kiba shifted his eyes as he said into a tape recorder. "Memo to self make Akamaru piss in Nimiko's drink..."**

**-------At Nimiko's House-------**

**Nimiko makes a gagging face as she drunk her Pepsi. "Ew this taste like piss!" She gazed at the pop can for a few more seconds then shrugs, and starts drinking it again.**

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**December 10th**

-------

Gaara, Kankuro, and Sai walked down the dirt path until they took a rest by a tree. While Gaara's eyes started to slowly close a racked from down the road came to his ears. A vein was throbbing on the upper top part of his head. This just wasn't a good month for him. "C'mon guys we'll find somewhere else to rest. The other two stood up making a few groans as they stood up.

"Hey that's the sound that man made wh--" Sai shut his mouth with another fake smile. "Whoops." The three boys walked down the road until they finally saw where all the commotion was coming from. A monk, a boy like dog, a woman with a big boomerang on her shoulder, a girl that looked extremely out of place, a guy wearing all white and a lot of makeup, a toad man, a little girl wearing a kimono, a little boy who looked like the boomerang lady, a man with fur, a man with all purple on and had more makeup on him than the girls, a little girl holding a mirror, and a lady with a feather in her hair.

"Give us the Shikon no Tama Naraku!" The dog-man said.

"NO IT'S MY SHINEY CRYSTAL! KAAAAAAGURA TELL HIM IT'S MINE!" Naraku whined. The girl sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Finder keepers. Loser weepers."

"Inuyasha," The man in white glared. "I shall kill you...in DDR Super Nova!" The boy named Inuyasha clutched his fist as he pressed his face against his brothers.

"In you dreams Sesshoumaru!"

"No in my dreams I'm bangin' that Kagome chick, Sango chick, and Kagura chick...at the same time." He said as he pointed at each one.

"Rin's pregnant!" The little girl yelled out. Everyone's eyes grew then shifted to the boy. The boy raised an eyebrow. "Don't look at me!" Their eyes then shifted to the toad. "No!" Then everyone eyes shifted to Sesshoumaru. "What?"

"You knocked up a little kid?!" Kagome yelled.

"Who cares? The pedophilia rules don't include demons."

"I see twins in the future..." Kanna said as she looked into her mirror.

"Sango?"

"Kohaku do you remember me?!" She asked with tears in her eyes.

"Of course if I say your name I remember you...fuckin' idiot."

"Now. Now. Be nice to your sister." The monk said as he caressed her bottom. The girl named Sango sucker punched him the moved away. Naraku dropped the jewel on the ground and picked it up and put it in his mouth to clean it.

"Nara spit it out." Kagura said.

"No."

"Do it.

N-" Naraku swallowed it.

"You fuckin' idiot!" Inuyasha said as he kicked Naraku's back which sent the crystal flying and hit Gaara in the head.

"Move out of my way." Gaara said as he picked up the jewel.

"No!" Naraku said as he stuck his tongue out.

"Move. Out. Of. My. Way." Gaara said more threatenly.

"No way homo! Now give us back the jewel!" Inuyasha yelled. Gaara's left eye twitched. Without a second thought Gaara crushed the jewel in his hand turning it to dust.

"You asshole!" Inuyasha yelled as he whipped out Tetsusaiga, and charged at Gaara.

Gaara held his right hand out then turned it sideways. His sands swirled around the entire group. "Sand coffin!" Within a matter of seconds blood and guts splashed everywhere.

"There penises went bye-bye." Gaara turned to Sai and glared death at him. "Did you see what I just fuckin' did?!" Sai nodded with his fake smile still intact. "Do you want to die that way?!"

"No sir I do not."

"Good. Now lets roll." Gaara said as he started back down the road with his hands shoved into his pockets.

-------

"Kurenai-Sensei where's TenTen?"

"Who?" Kurenai asked while she scratched the back of her head.

"You know the chick with the two buns on her head, and she stuffs her bra with tissue."

"I still don't have a clue about who you're talking about."

"I'm right here!" TenTen huffed as she kicked Kurenai in the back of her leg.

"Did you feel something Shino?"

"I thought I heard something." Shino shrugged well where ever she is she need to hurry up. Kurenai nodded as Shino and herself started walking ahead.

"Those fuckin' bastards..."

-------

Kabuto slowly unraveled the gauze that adored around his eye. "Sasuke how does it look." He asked while he turned to Sasuke.

"Oh. My. God! Dude your eye is...It looks disgusting!"

"Wah?!" Kabuto swiftly ran towards the water, and gazed at his reflection to see that his eye transformed into a replica of Orochimaru's eye. "What the fuck is in your blood?!" Kabuto yelled as he picked up a blunt object.

"Epp! Don't hurt Orochimaru-Sama! Don't hurt Orochimaru-Sama!" Orochimaru cried as he snuggled into a nearby tree.

"It looks like it's taking over the left side of your body...Ew...Bye...Bye to your fangirls..."

"Fuck!"

-------

Neji sat on the floor as he cuffed his chin. "So...what we saw Gaara and Hinata doing was...them having--"

"Yup." Gai and Kakashi said with a nod.

"So they might have..." Neji started to tear up. "But I want Hina-Chan's babies!"

"Dude you're her cousin...They'll come out like."_Mer durr augh my nab ber hyaagu buu!_' It would be a crime against nature." Lee said with furrowed brows.

"Not true!"

"Yup it is true." Chouji said with a nod of agreement.

"But I looove her!"

"Hyuugacest is the saddest kind of incest ever..." Gai said.

"Yeah, but sandcest is creepy, and unsanitary." Kakashi said with a shiver. "Just think of all the sand that would be up Temari's (beep)--Hey why was I censored?"

"The Konoha Women Association decided that the fanfic author should use more _aspirate_ words for now on." Gai said with a heavy sigh. "It seemed they got very offended when we explained the birds and the bees to our students."

"Damn them!"

-------

"Sakura are you sure you're ready?" Naruto asked with dewy eyes.

"Yes Naruto lets have Ramen sex." She said with a smile. Within a matter of seconds Naruto dumped a bowl of steaming hott ramen over Sakura. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! You bastard!" She yelled as she punched Naruto sending him crashing through 5 brick walls. "Why the hell did you use hott ramen?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Naruto stood up dizzily and shouted. "In my dream Hinata moaned, and wasn't being a bitchy (beep)!" Naruto and Sakura blinked.

"Were you just censored?"

"Hai. Hai...I believe so..."

"Can you guys do that in your own room that's 2 doors down." Kiba growled as he watched Sakura standing in a puddle of ramen in his hotel room.

-------

Hinata roamed down a dirt path road in a rather large potato sack bag. "Oh my gosh! Look father! A magic bag of potatoes is walking down the path!" A boy shouted.

"My gosh! You're right son! Tonight our family won't have to eat fish, but potatoes, and magic ones at that."

"What's wrong with you? I'm a girl!" Hinata shouted.

"And she talks as well!" The boy bowed to her. "Oh mystic potato bag please forgive us!"

"We are your servants." The father of the boy bowed.

Hinata raised a brow as she was beyond creep out. Within a matter of minutes Hinata turned to a punch of logs.

"Father I believe you've just been Logged."

"Oh my gosh! Maybe the magic potato bag went to get more potatoes! We shall wait!"

"I agree father! We shall wait."

-------

"Okay we need fast money, and this was the only way we can do it." Itachi turned on the music and got on the catwalk as I'm bringing Sexy Back started playing.

"Wooohooo! Take it off!" A rather old lady croaked.

"Show me your (beep)!"

"Wow these censors are kinda getting out of hand." Itachi sighed as he made it to the end of the catwalk, and made his Sharigan eyes spin wildly.

"You _**want**_ to give me all your money. Place the money in the bag that is now being circulated by the fish man, and take your leave." He stopped as the women started to blink.

"I really have no use for these." A woman said as she dumped over a thousand singles, and one by one the women dumped huge amounts of singles into the bag.

"So how much do we got."

"We got more than 5000."

"Lets roll!"

Deidara runs in and screams, "Oh my gosh did I miss Itachi stripping scene--I mean did I miss when we stole those fools money, yeah..."

"It appears so Dei-Danna." Tobi laughed as he pointed a finger at him.

"You wanted to see me naked." Itachi asked with a raised brow.

"I don't know...Maybe, yeah..." Deidara mumbled as he shrugged.

"I'll give you a treat after the fic is over."

"Fuck yeah, yeah!

-------

"So Shika-Kun when are we gonna have wild kinky sexy fun?!" Temari asked while she and Ino chuckled.

"Stop being troublesome, and look for Hinata."

"Shika-Kun you didn't say her name with a suffix...Are you cheating on us?!" Ino yelled.

"No. I only like blonde blue bimbos."

"What..." Shikamaru turned around and waved his arms around.

"I meant blonde blue eyed _**bombshells**_."

"Oh. Okay!" The girls smiled, but then they're face went into a stoic one. "Because if you ever cheat on us...we'll (beep) (beep) (beep) then (beep) and (beep) and (beeplity) (beep) (beep)!" The girls then blinked their eyes. "Were we just censored?"

"Yeah...and thank you kami." Shikamaru said under his breath.

-------

**AN: Sorry for the long update, but I had a huge writer's block moment. It appears the last time I got into it with the Naruto cast...They got a little to rough on me...Damn that Itachi, and his Mangekyo Sharigan...(gets thwaped on the head by itachi) Damnit! Didn't I just recover from you guys abuse! (sighs) Well anywho.**

**To Be Continued**

**I hope you liked this chapter.**

**Please Read & Review.**

**Hugs & Kisses**

**From**

**The Beautiful Yet Deadly Killer Kunoichi Nimiko (blows a kiss, and gives a wink)**


	13. December 11th

**Disclaimer: You guys already know I don't own Naruto nor the Naruto Characters.**

**AN: Oh my...I haven't updated in 2 fuckin' years? I am so sorry! I'm really really sorry! (gives you guys a box of weapons) Please do as you please. Well lets get on with this chapter. (takes a sip of her pepsi and makes a disgusting face) Augh...For the pass 2yrs my Pepsies have been tasting like dog piss...(shrugs and continues to drink it)**

**-------**

**Kiba: HAHAHA! AKAMARU AND I HAVE BEEN AVENGING YOU READERS! MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!**

-------

December 11th

-------

It's time to make it hot,  
You know that we won't stop.[Ohhh Ohhh]  
And then you get it hot.  
It's time to be on top.  
Wanna Be On Top?  
Wanna Be On Top?  
Wanna Be On Top?

Itachi sat at a long table with him being in the middle on his left was Deidara and Tobi as Kisame and Konan on his right. "Why do you think we should let you join the Akatsuki?" Itachi stated as he leaned back in his seat and tilted his hat back to take a look at the contestants. "By the way, make it worth our time."

"I think I should be able to join because just look at me." Tamaki tossed his short blonde hair as sparkles swooshed everywhere.

"Oh I love shiny things!" Tobi said as he awed at the sight of the sparkles.

"Shut up, yeah!" Deidara said as he thwapped Tobi over his head.

"Ouch! Dei-Senpei please be gentle!~" The masked Akatsuki member whined.

"Next." Itachi said as he ignored Deidara and Tobi.

"We're a two for one deal." Hikaru and Kaoru said as they held each other in each other's arms.

"Promising. Promising." Kisame said.

"I agree so too." Itachi murmured as he jotted down a few notes.

"Next."

"We're a two for one deal too!~" Hunny chimed as he had two pink side ways oval blush marks on his face. His cousin held him on his neck. Mori stayed silent as he looked at them in a aloof way.

"We don't need another Tobi and Itachi!" Deidara screamed as he pointed at the pair. "Get the fuck out!"

"Waaah!~ So cruel! So cruel!" Hunny cried as him and Mori left.

"Next."

"I was dragged her by that idiot over there." Kyouya said as he pointed at Tamaki.

"Ditto." Haruhi said as she had a sweat-drop on the side of her face. "Can I leave?"

Itachi stood up. "You...For some odd reason. Maybe it's because the anime/manga you come from every guy you meet falls head over heels for you for no reason...That I'm beginning to love you?"

Kyouya smirks as he looks at the viewers. "Is this the sign of a more complicated love octagon or somethi--" Kyouya was interrupted by someone crashing through the door.

"I'M HERE! I'M HERE!" Nimiko stumbled in the room crashing into multiple things. "I HOPE I'M NOT LATE! LET ME JOIN THE AKATSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKI!" She hunched over as she placed her hands on her knees. "C-Can I join?"

"No way you fuckin' bitch!" Everyone yelled at her with fire in their eyes. "You haven't updated in two fucking years! So get the fuck out!" Nimiko straighten herself out as she looked at them with no emotion present in her eyes. With a sigh she crossed her arms across her chest, and slightly leaned backwards.

"I hope you guys like getting edited out of this story then."

"You wouldn't!" Itachi said with a gulp.

"Oh I would!"

"Your readers would hate you for it." Kisame said.

"And?"

"Oh she cares I can sense it." Konan said as she played with the flower in her hair.

"Oh yeah!~" Nimiko retorted as she whipped out the script, and got her white-out out. She slowly whited-out Konan's name and as she did so Konan vanished. " Gasps were heard throughout the whole room. "I'm serious fuckin' business." Nimiko said with a smug grin.

"Oh look at that we have an opening! Oh and it's a girl slot! Welcome aboard Miko-Hime!" Itachi smiled as he had little sweat-drops coming down his face.

"What a bunch of bullshit." Hikaru and Kaoru said with amused expressions.

"Hey you guys weren't censored?" Everyone said as think blinked their eyes in confusion. "What the fuck is going on?" They slowly turned their heads to Nimiko who by the way was wearing a cheery smile upon her face.

"Lets just say The Konoha Women Association suffered the same fate as our beloved Konan."

'_I think the author of this fanfic is completely nuts._' They all thought as they gulped.

-------

Hanabi finally was able to build up the strength to head out in search of those bastards that left her to die in the maze. "I hope you bitches aren't full because I'm about to feed you a hott bowl full of hurt." She growled as she strapped some grenades to her belt. She twirled some shurikens and knives around her fingers and put them in her pouch.

"I bet those losers haven't even found Hina-Hime yet." Hanabi cracked her knuckles. "Tch." After jogging in place as she wiggled her arms to warm up she set off to find her sister, and kill those bastards. "Nut up or shut up!"

-------

Orochimaru, Kabuto, and Sasuke stopped dead in their tracks.

Naruto, Sakura, and Kiba stopped dead in their tracks as they bumped into the enemy.

"Give us back Hina-Hime!" Naruto yelled.

"Do you have to be so damn loud you Dobe." Sasuke sighed as he rubbed his left ear. He clicked his tongue as he gazed at the three Leaf Shinobies. "Does it look like I have her?"

"Where is she?" Sakura said with a hiss.

"She...Well...I kinda lost her..."

"You what?!" Naruto, Sakura, Kiba, and Orochimaru gasped as they held their hands to their cheeks.

"What the fuck dude?" Kiba said as he cocked a brow at Orochimaru.

"Oh. I'm sorry I got caught in the moment." Orochimaru said as he slunk back to Kabuto's side.

"Move it. I have to find my Hime." Sasuke said as he tried to pass by them. Naruto stepped in front of him. "Move it Dobe."

"No we're the only ones looking for Hina-Hime so back the fuck off."

"Oh!~" Orochimaru awed. "No censoring!~"

"Oh I guess so..." They all said.

"Anyway." Sasuke said as he ran his long slender fingers through his hair. "There is--"

-------Scene Interruption-------

"That's so Moooooe!~" Renge shouted into her microphone as she wiggled about. Nimiko, Hinata, Sakura, Ino, Konan, Temari, and all the Sasuke Fanclub girls and guy(aka sai) squeals as they faint and have blood squirt out their noses. Everyone mummers in unison. "So Moe..."

-------Back To The Story-------

"Anyway." Sasuke said as he ran his long slender fingers through his hair. "Wait--Didn't I already...Well nevermind...There is only one way to settle this."

"You're right." Naruto said with a serious expression, accompanied with a nod. "It's the only way."

"Time for a Pokemon battle!" Sasuke and Naruto said together. The Pokemon battle theme music played in the background.

"I chose you Kiba!" Naruto said as he kicked Kiba in front of him.

"What the fuck?!" Kiba snarled at Naruto. "Do I fuckin' look like a Pokemon?!"

"I chose you Kabuto!" Sasuke said as he kicked Kabuto in front of him.

"Damn my name...Kishi-Sama did you seriously have to name me after a fuckin' Pokemon?" Kabuto sighed as he looked at the sky.

"Kabuto use Chakra Scalpel Technique!" Sasuke yelled.

"Fine. Fine." Kabuto did his hand signs as he charged at Kiba.

"Kiba use Piercing Fang!"

"C'mon Akamaru!" Kiba popped Akamaru a food pill, and the large dog transformed into Kiba's clone. The two turned into spinning like tornados and headed at Kabuto. The Sound Shinobi teleported away from the attack. Letting Kiba and Akamaru come to a sliding halt.

"Kabuto use Chakra Snake Scalpel Crush!"

With another sigh Kabuto performed the hand signs and before he could do the last one Naruto shouted at Kiba.

"Kiba use Man Beast Combination Transformation: Double-Headed Wolf!"

"That's what I'm talkin' about!" Kiba grinned along with Akamaru.

Kabuto forgot to finish his hand signs as he had a deadpan expression. '_Does this baka like being treated like a Pokemon?_' Kabuto was brought out of his thoughts as he heard an ear piercing howl. He looked up to see a double-headed wolf. The Sound Shinobi gulped he looked behind him to see what Sasuke wanted him to do, but he was angry to notice that Sasuke and Orochimaru had ditched him. '_Oh fuck this shit..._' Kabuto thought to himself as he teleported somewhere far away.

"What the hell!" Sakura yelled. "They cheated!"

"I AM THE POKEMON MASTER!!!!!!" Naruto yelled as he did SailorMoon's victory pose.

-------

"I-IF I C-CAN'T HAVE HINA-H-HIME THEN I-I DON'T WANNA LIIIIIIVE!~" Neji cried as he was on his knees. "*SEPPUKU!" He yelled as he was about to thrust a kunai though his heart. Before he even managed to do it Rock Lee used his lightening speed and retrieved the kunai from his team-mate.

"Chill the fuck out Emo Kid."

Chouji laughed. "HAHAHA! NEJI'S A SHINMO!" Everyone tried to stifle their laugh, but it was total fail as they all(except for neji, of course) held their sides and laughed. "An emo mixed with a shinobi!"

"I hate you all..." Neji whimpered as he curled up in a little ball and cried.

"Hey." Kakashi said. "Rock Lee wasn't censored."

"Ah. You're right...That's strange..."

-------

Shikamaru leaned against the counter of an Inn as he smirked at this hott red-head. "So I don't even need rope to use bondage baby. My jutsus is the shii--" He gulped as two deathly shadows loomed over him. "I don't need rope to bond that table to that cart right there. Sure I'll help! Bye!" Shikamaru said as he jetted off.

"Hi there." Ino smiled at the girl. "I'm Ino."

"And I'm Temari." Temari chimed with a smile. "What's yours?"

"Akki..." The girl tanned girl with the unruly red-hair said hesitantly.

"Come with us for a moment." The two girls said as they linked arms with Akki and dragged her up stairs.

-------

Gaara right eye twitched uncontrollably as Kankuro's did the same. Sai just tilted his head, and said, "Oops." They arrived where they started from. The Kazekage Mansion. "I guess my compass is broken."

"I'M GONNA FUCKIN' KILL YOU!" Gaara yelled as he tried to get pass his older brother that was holding him back. His sand started to boil out of his gourd.

"Gaara calm down calm down!" Kankuro yelled as he tried to hold him back. "What would Hina-Hime do?! What would Hina-HIme do?!" That phrase seemed to calm him down. He breathed in and out trying to gain the rest of his cool. "What the hell was you using for your compass?" He asked with furrowed brows.

"I used my penis of course." Sai said with another fake smile.

"Oh that is fuckin' it!" Gaara said as he got riled up again. Before he launched at Sai three people caught his attention. "What. The. Fuck. Are you doing here?" He said with a glare.

"Well we had to come back for some girl named Ten-Ten." Kurenai said.

"Yeah she must of got left behind.

"I'm right here!" Ten-Ten yelled. "Right here!" She said as she stood in front of them and waved her arms.

"Ten-Ten is right fuckin' there..." Gaara snarled.

"Oh there you are." Shino said nonchalantly.

"Well lets get going. Shall we?" Kurenai and Shino started walking away as a pissed off Ten-Ten followed behind.

"Urge to kill rising." Gaara growled. "25% chance of me killing everyone..."

"If you kill me please bury me with a big fat penis launched in my mouth."

"What?" Gaara and Kankuro said in unison.

-------

"Give me your clothes bitch!" Hinata growled as she held a kunai to some random school girl's head.

"OMG!" The girl cried as she started to panic. "Plz dn't kill meh!" She squeal as she took everything off and gave it to Hinata.

"That's right." Hinata said as she put on the girl's clothes. "Oh yeah before I forget." Hinata turned around and punched the girl in the face knocking her out. "Don't use Net-Speak in real life bitch!"

-------

"Shika-Kun!~" Ino and Temari chimed as they sat on either side of him.

"Um...Where did you guys take that girl?" He asked as he gulped.

"We took her up stairs..." They said in unison.

'_Oh Kami they killed her!_'

"We fucked her before you could even think of doing it!" The girls laughed in his face.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys?!"

-------

**AN: I am really sorry about the long(very long update). Well I hope you guys loved this chapter. I'll try to be better with updating my stories. Right now I'm trying to finish Don't Toy With My Heart(sasuhina), I Shall Restore Your Heart(sasuhina, naruhina, narusaku, and one sided sasusaku), and of course this story.**

*** For those that don't know Seppuku is the Japanese word for **_**Suicide**_**.**

**To Be Continued**

**I hope you liked this chapter.**

**Please Read & Review.**

**Hugs & Kisses**

**From**

**The Beautiful Yet Deadly Killer Kunoichi Nimiko (blows a kiss, and gives a wink)**


End file.
